"Those drug companies have it all wrong," Wendy, my club’s feminist, sniffed in the lounge. "They make Viagra for sexual dysfunction when what men really need is something called ‘Directra’ to help them obey orders on defense."
"Maybe Pfizer could make a drug called ‘Buyagra,’" Mabel, our manager, said. "A man who took it daily would feel like buying his wife expensive gifts."
"How about ‘Complimentra,’?" Rose offered, "so he would tell her how nice she looked?"
Wendy was upset over today’s deal. She was East. Cy the Cynic was West. When Cy led the king of spades, Wendy played the ten. Cy promptly shifted to a diamond, and South took the queen, ruffed his last spade in dummy, drew trumps, and led the queen of clubs. Wendy ducked, so South lost a diamond as well as a club but still made game.
"If you’re going to defend like that," Wendy growled, "next time I’ll bid four spades. Can’t you obey my signal?"
"You asked for a diamond switch," the Cynic said. "Besides, I thought we needed diamond tricks before declarer set up the clubs."
"What you need is medication," Wendy said.
If Wendy wanted a diamond shift, she could have signaled with a low spade. A high spade should ask for a spade continuation as long as that might be best. If Cy leads a low spade at Trick Two, South ruffs in dummy, and his late entry to the clubs is gone. If he draws trumps and starts the clubs, Wendy wins the second club, and South loses two diamonds.
With best defense, both four hearts and four spades fail.