Sideshow: Danes finds Harvard quite 'wackadoodle'

Wackadoodle-dooo!

Exactly what we need to end a week filled with celeb 911 calls and breakups - a note of joy.

Wackadoodle is the term Claire Danes, 32, used to describe the parade that Harvard's Hasty Pudding Theatricals organized Friday, honoring her as the org's woman of the year.

"It was totally bizarre - in the best sense," said the Romeo + Juliet star.

"I'm learning a lot about Harvard. I now know you guys are kind of deranged and like to [relieve yourselves] on statues."

After days of rumors, some light has been shed on Monday's

Demi Moore

incident. According to a 911 tape released Friday by Los Angeles authorities,

Ashton Kutcher

's estranged wife was taken to an L.A. hospital when she suffered convulsions after smoking an unknown substance.

"She smoked something, it's not marijuana but it is similar to incense. She seems to be having convulsions of some sort," an unnamed female told 911 operators from Demi's Beverly Hills manse.

"She has been having some issues. I don't know what she has been taking," a second woman told the dispatcher.

Moore, 49, also was said to be "burning up," unable to speak, and semiconscious.

The tape, which officials said they edited for privacy, makes no mention of nitrous oxide, the substance TMZ reported Demi inhaled that night.

Moore's reps have yet to add to a statement Tuesday that said the actress is suffering from exhaustion. Kutcher has refused comment.

Seal

, 48, tells

Piers Morgan

for a segment set to be shown Friday night that the media have sensationalized his temper. It didn't break up his marriage to

Heidi Klum

, he insists. Earlier Friday, the singer added a note of finality to the breakup, telling

Access Hollywood

"there is nothing to reconcile." He did add a divorce isn't imminent.

The Artist

's foremost thespian, Jack Russell terrier

Uggie

, 10, is retiring from film, the Hollywood Reporter says. . . .

Matthew Broderick

will play his famed teenage role, Ferris Bueller, in a mega Super Bowl ad, TV Guide says.