Sideshow: Nothing to see here, 'Alcatraz' fans

A cadre of (deluded) fans of Fox's (

fictional

) hit TV show

Alcatraz

have been scouring

the (

real

) island prison in search of a super-secret room described in the show as a "bat-cave underneath Alcatraz." Writers of the show, which stars

Sam Neill

,

Sarah Jones

, and

Jorge Garcia

, made up the room, National Parks Service rep

Alexandra Picavet

tells TMZ, yet folks have snuck into unauthorized areas during public tours. So annoying is the situation, a sign has been posted on the island: "The TV show

Alcatraz

is fictional, many areas it depicts are not real. Closed areas protect you, historic structures, and nesting birds."

Shameless star

William H. Macy

, 61, who has been married to

Desperate Housewives

'

Felicity Huffman

for 15 years, has some startling Pascalian advice about marriage. If things aren't going well, "just act like you love her more than anybody you've ever seen in your life, and you'll get it back in spades," he tells syndicated celeb show

In the Mixx

.

"You have to pretend. Make it up, just make it up!" Blaise Pascal famously said if you are unsure of your faith, just go through the motions of prayer and it'll come to you.

Wheel of Fortune

's longtime skipper

Pat Sajak

tells

Dan Le Batard

on ESPN2 that in the good ol' days he and presenter

Vanna White

would have a few drinks during their dinner break. "Vanna and I would . . . have two or three or six and then come and do the last shows and have trouble recognizing the alphabet," he says.

"

Someday love will find you / Break those chains that bind you / One night will remind you / How we touched

." Remember

Steve Perry

's flowing

Blow-Dry Hair

emoting that power ballad? Alas, the hit seems to mean something different for

Deen Castronovo

, drummer for

Journey'

s latest incarnation. He was arrested by cops in Polk County, Ore., for allegedly hitting his girlfriend during an argument.

"It was a misunderstanding," Deen's rep says. The musician is out on $52,500 bail.

A nanny named

Nubia Del Carmen Preza

is suing

Lindsay Lohan

, claiming the trouble magnet hit her with her Maserati in September 2010 as Preza pushed a pram containing her employer's child at a West Hollywood intersection. (Baby was unharmed.) Earlier this month, paparazzo

Grigor Balyan

filed a similar suit against LiLo and her driver,

Paola Demara

.

As of Thursday morn,

Demi Moore

, 49, continued to languish in an L.A. hospital. She has yet to say what ails her. People mag declares with a high degree of certainty that Demi did in fact suffer a seizure Monday night.

Anonymous Source

says "concerned friends" called 911 immediately.

Second Source

says Monday's incident was not a suicide attempt. Who said it was?!

Xfinity Live! Philadelphia, a "dining and entertainment district" located at the site of the fallen Spectrum, will open the week

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

play two shows, March 28 and 29 at the Wells Fargo Center. It'll be open to ticketholders on those nights beginning at 4 p.m. Grand opening is March 30 (a week earlier than previously announced), with a show by a yet-to-be-named "national headlining act." Info:

» READ MORE: http://xfinitylive.com/

.

Who, in your wildest fantasies, would send you a Valentine's Day love letter?

Katy Perry

!, exclaim 34 percent of the red-blooded American men surveyed by Harris Interactive on behalf of Zebra Pen Corp.

Taylor Swift

(29 percent) and

Beyoncé

(21 percent) follow.

Keith Urban

leads the men, with 45 percent, youngster

Bruno Mars

is second (24 percent), and 63-year-old hotlips

Steven Tyler

third (19 percent).

Kenny Chesney

has garnered a leading nine Academy of Country Music Awards nominations.

Jason Aldean

is next with six,

Brad Paisley

earned four, and

Toby Keith

and

Taylor Swift

got three each. . . . Rapper

50 Cent

, who won $500,000 betting on the New York Giants in their win last weekend over the San Francisco 49ers, says he'll tweet a nude photo of himself if the Giants lose their Feb. 5 Super Bowl game with the New England Patriots. . . .

Tom Cruise

and daughter

Suri

rode the Teacups at Disneyland Wednesday. . . . "We'd actually like to," said

Brad Pitt

when asked by the Hollywood Reporter if he and

Angelina Jolie

plan to wed. Nice retort to recent rumors their partnership is falling apart.

Jason Wu

, whose gown famously adorned

Michelle Obama

at one of her inaugural party appearances in 2009, has concocted a French New Wave-'n'-

Jean Seberg

-inspired 53-piece collection for down-home-yet-upscaler-than-Walmart retailer Target. It's due Feb. 5.

Beyoncé

says she will exec-produce and appear in a new fashion-design talent show for Britain's Sky Living network, according to the Huffington Post.

Girls Aloud

singer

Nicola Roberts

will host. Fashion "is a constant source of inspiration in my life," says B, "and is a big reason why I've grown into the person and artist I am today." The winner will whip up the outfit B will wear for her July show in London's Hyde Park.