Dave on Demand: The undisputed champ

Never can say goodbye to Regis. When the Philbin nut steps away from his frothy chat show in a few weeks, it will be with a viselike grip on the Guinness World Record for most hours logged on U.S. television.

He's passed 70,000, and counting. And don't for a minute think that dropping Live! with Regis and Kelly means that he's retiring. What's he going to do? Sit at home with Joy all day? Get a grip, will ya?

The man is only 80 years old, for Pete's sake. He's just catching his second wind.

Who could possibly erase his mark? One of you smarmy multitaskers like Tom Bergeron or Sharon Osbourne or Guy Fieri? Give us a call in, like, 30 years. If you keep up your current pace, you should be approaching 40,000 hours by then.

Here's the thing: Regis resembles one of those athletic freaks, like Pete Rose or Ty Cobb, who had his most productive years after most guys his age had moved to Palm Springs.

The only potential competitors on the horizon are Gordon Ramsay and Anderson Cooper. Ramsay currently has about eight restaurant shows on the air simultaneously. But having a guy that volatile around sharp kitchen knives all the time is a situation that cannot end well.

Cooper is racking up some impressive hours by working days, nights and weekends, but we'll see if he has the stamina for the long, long haul.

Reege has been the Iron Horse of the tube. Incorrigible and indefatigable. Didn't matter what kind of surgery he had to undergo - from heart bypass to hip replacement - he'd be driven directly from the recovery room to the studio. And you'd never know he'd been under general anesthesia two hours before.

And Regis loved every second of it. You know what he called a vacation? Shooting six commercials and a game-show pilot.

He'll be right back.

Foreign studies. Two great imported series start this weekend. But you'll have to work a little to see them.

Online video provider Hulu exclusively presents a new British sitcom, Spy, about a fumbling computer geek who ends up working for MI5. Think Chuck but funnier. Catch the first episode now at http:www.hulu.com/spy.

And Link TV, available on DirecTV and Dish, debuts Borgen on Saturday night. A 10-part Danish series from the makers of The Killing, it's a political drama more nuanced and provocative than George Clooney's recent The Ides of March. NBC has bought the rights to the series. For now, you'll have to make do with subtitles. (In Philadelphia, the only cable system carrying Borgen is Drexel University Television.)

Casual wear. Why do the two best female investigators on television always dress like they're on their way to a hot night at the singles bar?

The lethally competent Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) on The Good Wife seems to have only one outfit in her closet: black boots and a black miniskirt. Perefectly suitable for a coporate law office.

Carrie (Poppy Montgomery) may be the best detective in N.Y.P.D. history on Unforgettable. (She's certainly the most retentive.) But the badge and gun somehow clash with the skimpy tank tops she always wears on duty.

Fighting for attention. Big week for UFC legend Chuck Lidell. On Monday, he took on McGarrett (Alex O'Loughlin) in a no-quarter-asked bout for charity on Hawaii Five-O.

On Thursday on Parks and Recreation, Andy (Chris Pratt) went to his own Halloween party disguised as - you guessed it - the famous fighter. (This entailed the rarely attempted mohawk skullcap.)

In both cases, Lidell looked a little paunchy.

Dirty tricks. I smell a skunk. Or is that a Kardashian? Immediately after Monday's performance show of Dancing With the Stars, Kim Kardashian posted this for her 10.7 million followers on Twitter: "OMG I have @JustinBieber's phone#!!!! 800 8684302! CALL HIM! He's taking calls for the next hour!!!"

Anyone who called that number didn't get to chat with the baby-faced heartthrob. Instead, they unwittingly voted for Rob Kardashian, seriously skewing the results.

This wasn't a prank. It was wholesale fraud. I never thought I'd find myself typing this, but Chaz, you was robbed.