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Sideshow: Britney Spears scares Brits with 'Criminal' filming

What some celebrities will do to get into "SideShow"! We are honored - impressed - aghast, we tell you, aghast - at the cluelessness of Britney Spears, a guest in England for a concert tour and a music video for her tune "Criminal." Sh

What some celebrities will do to get into "SideShow"! We are honored - impressed - aghast, we tell you, aghast - at the cluelessness of Britney Spears, a guest in England for a concert tour and a music video for her tune "Criminal." She and beau Jason Trawick - for art's sake, of course - were portraying two ski-masked thugs who rob a store at gunpoint and then skedaddle. Oops! She did it again - offended some folks, that is, in this case the local government of the London borough Stoke Newington.  It's one of the areas where riots occurred this summer. Gun-toting, masked folks obviously still make Stoke Newingtonians a bit nervous. After seeing photos of the pretend crime, a local official said Britney should apologize and donate money to a "charity that deals with young people . . . for the rudeness and damage she's done to this community."

Hardman titled Our Queen, to be published next month in the United Kingdom and in spring in the United States, the Duke of Cambridge, better known as Prince William, describes how Grandma Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, better known as Grandma Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, helped plan his April wedding to the Duchess of Cambridge, née Kate Middleton. People magazine reports that William, 29, describes how he was given a list of 777 dignitaries for the guest list, none of whom the groom knew. Who ya gonna call? Queen Grandma. "I rang her up the next day and said, 'Do we need to be doing this?' " People says William recalls in the book. "And she said, 'No. Start with your friends first and then go from there.' And she told me to bin the list."    

Smiles all around?

The studio that fired former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen said Monday it had struck a deal with the actor to end their legal dispute. Warner Bros. Television released a statement saying that Sheen's lawsuit against the studio and series executive producer Chuck Lorre had been settled "to the parties' satisfaction." The statement said terms of the settlement were confidential. Sheen had filed a $100 million lawsuit for wrongful termination against Warner after his firing in March . The Los Angeles Times reported Sheen's settlement would be $25 million, although celebrity website TMZ reported the deal would be worth roughly $100 million over the next several years.

Sly and the family van

The New York Post has another story of a celeb succumbing to self-inflicted wounds. The tabloid reports that Sly Stone, 68, front man of the classic funk and soul band Sly and the Family Stone, is without house and living in a camper van parked in Crenshaw, the rough L.A. neighborhood setting of the movie Boyz N the Hood. (Sly and the Family Stone's hits include "Family Affair" and "Everyday People.") Only four years ago, Stone, whose real name is Sylvester Stewart, had been living large in a Napa Valley compound with a vineyard and a bunch of cars. But Stone rolled downhill under substance addiction, money mismanagement, and extravagant spending, and now records music in his home, er, van studio. Says Sly: "I like my small camper, I just do not want to return to a fixed home. I cannot stand being in one place. I must keep moving."

Back to the frivolous

Whew, thank goodness there's always Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, who'll be hosting the MTV Music Awards in November, to turn to for good old puppy-love fun. First - wait for it - they went to the beach together last week and then took in a Demi Lovato concert. Then - wait for more it - Bieber, 17, arranged a private showing for just himself and his sweetie, 19, of that 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio/Kate Winslet romantic tragedy Titanic - at L.A.'s Staples Center. Skinny is that Staples Center management let Baby Beebsie use the place for free because he's sold it out three times. Geez, we'd be happy just to not have the tallest person in the crowd sitting in front of us.

Skinny is as skinny Snooki does

TMZ, obviously concerned about the health and nutritional well-being of entertainment celebrities, reports that Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is umm, er, overvoluptuous no more. She was down the Shore last weekend at Harrah's Resort in Atlantic City and posed for pictures "wearing an itty bitty dress that showed off her suddenly slim figure," says TMZ. Dieting seems to have been a summer project for Snooki, proving that she really is just like us - except she's a zigillionaire for doing absolutely nothing.

Out of time

It's old news by now that R.E.M. has split up after 31 years of music-making togetherness. In a soon-out issue of Rolling Stone, band member Mike Mills explains why he, Michael Stipe, and Peter Buck decided to disband the band. "It's not because we have to or we can't stand each other or we suck," Mills says. "We're happy. But we're done." Well, maybe they're happy, but there's nothing titillating in them breaking up so convivially. Where's the scandal? And does R.E.M. realize the dangers of being so nice about breaking up? At this rate, gossipmongers could soon be out of work.

Lopez, well red

Her Majesty Queen J-Lo the Only is not slinking out of sight as she mourns the end of her marriage to singer Marc Anthony. Oh, no. The singer/American Idol judge/Fiat pitchwoman is going on stage in a slinky, sexy red dress and fishnet tights - and that's meant to shout, "Look at me! I am Jennifer Lopez!" She wore the getup during a performance Saturday in Las Vegas at the iHeartRadio Music Festival, at which fellow Idol judges Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson and bunches of other singers and bands also tunefully yowled. Who else gets written up in the media when they wear a red dress? Well, maybe the slimmer Snooki.