Sideshow: Chaz Bono ready to dance with the stars

It's time to pull your tuxedos and low-cut sequined dresses out of the mothballs. We are thiiiiis close to the start of everyone's favorite TV ballroom-dancing reality show, Dancing with the Stars! How do we know we're thiiiiss close? Why, not only because the 13th season steps off Monday - but also because chatter about the celebrity hoofers, particularly Chaz Bono, is moving faster than a quickstep. Bono, 42, who underwent a sex-change procedure after being born the daughter of the late singer Sonny Bono and his still-very-alive partner, Cher, now 65, appeared on Wednesday's Ellen DeGeneres talkfest to review his dance-capades in the early competition. Chaz ended up sharing time with his famous mom, who called in to upbraid (an underused word, to be sure) critics of her son's life change. Various gossip outlets report that Cher said to them, "I don't know that I would have any magic words to make you feel more comfortable and soothe you into not being terrified of my child dancing on Dancing with The [rude word] Stars." Speaking of terror, Cher jokingly told Chaz, "You doing this dance is about as scary as you making the 'change'!" But perhaps, oh Cher-ness, not as scary as some of the costumes you used to wear.

Speaking of Wednesday's Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jon Cryer of CBS' Two and a Half Men also was on and "finally admitted," says one report, that he was concerned about ex-costar Charlie Sheen, who unraveled so publicly and so very weirdly: "Mostly, I was worried that Charlie was going to die." During those volatile days, Sheen lashed out at his bosses, who'd cut him from Men, and then at Cryer, calling him "a turncoat, a traitor, a troll." Ellen asked Cryer how he felt about those comments and whether Charlie ever apologized. Says Cryer: "We have not spoken. And I will accept an apology both public and private. But again, it was the heat of the moment [when he said that] . . . so I did not put a whole lot of credence in it at the time."

Meanwhile, Sheen told The Today Show's Matt Lauer, in an interview to air Friday, that he's a sober, calmer fellow these days. NBC released excerpts Wednesday. Of his torpedo times, Sheen says: "I don't really know what happened. It was one of those things where the planets were aligned, perfectly or imperfectly. I said some stuff and then it caught such traction globally and instantly that I couldn't really put out the fire." Uh, we hate to harsh your mellow Charlie, but you could at least have tried.

The power couple that bridges the yawning divide between filmdom and sports is breaking up like peanut brittle. A-Source close to Alex Rodriguez, 36, tells Us Weekly the Yankee superstar and actress Cameron Diaz have split up after a year of being back together again following a previous trip to Splitsville. They seemed so happy this last time, with interludes on beaches and in gyms. So sandy, so lean. So what happened? Source says Diaz is "very busy with her career." And A-Rod, well, "he's had injuries and wants to focus on the game. They're dedicated professionals." And, says Source, they'll remain dedicated to each other, though only as friends.

Comedy? You want comedy? How does Jack Black, Conan O'Brien, Maya Rudolph, Molly Shannon, and Larry King saluting Will Ferrell sound to you? The Kennedy Center in Washington announced Wednesday that, on Oct. 23, Ferrell will be awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Ferrell's friends and former Saturday Night Live costars will perform in his honor, with the taped proceedings being aired across the nation, perhaps the world and beyond, on Oct. 31 by PBS stations. Also on the guest list are SNL top honcho Lorne Michaels, Paul Rudd, John C. Reilly, and token non-comedians Green Day

.

Fox's Family Guy will observe its 10th birthday with a 10-city, one-night-only, exclusive midnight viewing on Thursday. Philly made the cut! The "Something, Something, Something Anniversary" screening includes a peek at the kickoff epi of the new season, plus "Road to the Multiverse," an epi selected by fans on Facebook, plus more stuff. It'll be at the Rave University City 6,   4012 Walnut St. Tickets: FamilyGuyPhilli@gmail.com.

The FBI is investigating allegedly nude self-taken shots of Scarlett Johansson that started surfacing on the Web on Wednesday, allegedly hacked from Johansson's cellphone. This is the latest in a wave of more than 50 possible or suspected such celeb hacks, including Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jessica Alba

.

Inspirational speaker Sarah Palin probably isn't grinning about the soon-to-be published book The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin, by Joe McGinniss. Sporting News, citing Deadspin and the venerable National Enquirer (with an E), says the book quotes former pro basketball star Glen Rice, 44, as saying he and Palin had a one-night stand in 1987. He was a University of Michigan Wolverine playing in a college tournament in Alaska, and Palin, now 47, was a sports reporter (single) with an Anchorage TV station. A Washington Post blog says Palin and her reps had "no immediate reaction" to the story. What do you know? Neither do we.

Fans of Amy Winehouse can commemorate what would have been her 28th birthday (Wednesday) by watching the last song and video she worked on before she died in July. In the vid, she and legendary crooner Tony Bennett co-sing "Body and Soul" for his coming Duets II album. The vid debuted Wednesday on MTV, VH1, and other cable channels. It's available online at MTV.com.