Sideshow: A fitting sitcom for Charlie

Remember that flick Anger Management, with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson? You don't? You're not alone! Millions join you in forgetfulness. Some of it was filmed near here, though, and the premise was clever. And now, this film takes on universes of new meaning. Why, you ask? Because triumphant and titanium-tonsilled human torpedo of truth and love Charlie Sheen announced Monday he has signed with Lionsgate-owned Debmar-Mercury to develop and star in a sitcom based on Anger Management. Y'know, this could work! . . . As long as they hire a whole extra department to do Charlie Management, right? The sitcom hasn't been sold to a network yet, but our Charlie, tiger-blood-drinkin'-extraordinaire, is certainly winning post-Two and a Half Men!

More proof, if any proof were needed, that "SideShow" favorite F. Scott Fitzgerald was incorrect that "there are no second acts in American lives." Sure there are! All you need is an agent and a wacko shtick!

Obviously (?) reformed since his public tweeting, drinking, and goddess-ing earlier this year, Sheen will play an ire-challenged man ordered to therapy. (Fiction imitates life!!) Good ol' Charlie, praised by producers in the announcement as "the leading man of TV sitcoms" (life imitates fiction!!!), will get a "significant ownership stake" in the show, a news release said. Take that, Ashton Kutcher! (And good luck, Debmar-Mercury!!)

How much do you love Paco the Crimefighting Chihuahua? Correct answer: mucho! Paco chased two armed thugs away from Ace Smoke Shop in Altadena, Calif. For his exploits, the 10-pound enforcer was a guest on ABC's Good Morning America. There's also a brave Chihuahua named Paco in Pennsylvania-based author Charlee Ganny's new novel Chihuawolf.

 Rebecca Black, all of 14, is back, and there is no escape! She's putting her luck on Tuesday, Tuesday, gotta get down on Tuesday, with her new single "My Moment," available on iTunes Tuesday (the video was released Monday on YouTube). The song is inspired by R-Bla's rise to the top after Auto-Tune and stale lyrics somehow came together for "Friday," her crazy-viral YouTube-stoked megahit in March. MTV reports the new vid features Black's red-carpet events and an award ceremony in junior high. (Reallly?!) And there's more! Black is readying a five-song EP for August. And "Friday" is back on YouTube after it was taken down recently over a copyright dispute.

After an epic performance in the Borgata Event Center on Sunday in which she performed all of her smash hits, including "Rude Boy," "S&M," "What's My Name?", and "Umbrella," Rihanna brought her dancers to celebrate in MIXX Nightclub with tour opener Cee Lo Green, who performed his hits "Forget You" and "Crazy" for clubgoers. The pop princess played photographer, taping video of her fans, while being escorted around the club on Cee Lo's shoulders before joining DJ Ruckus at the turntables, requesting to hear some of her favorite Bob Marley songs.

- Michael Klein

Donald Trump stole daughter Ivanka Trump's thunder when he dropped the name of his new grandkid and then called it "very exotic." Arabella Rose is the bundle of joy. The new mom tweeted afterward: "Jared [Kushner] and I are having so much fun playing with our daughter. Arabella Rose is beyond adorable. She's truly a blessing." Nice - but for now we'll follow Donald's advice and wait for the birth certificate.

Asking out a hot celeb to the Marine Corps Ball is soooo in right now - so why not ask Betty White? No comment yet from the 89-years-young actress, but Sgt. Ray Lewis hit YouTube to invite "the all-around perfect woman" to the dance. The Afghanistan and Iraq War vet did pull-ups and sit-ups as he sugared White with compliments in his clip. Friends With Benefits stars Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake confirmed Monday on Today they're going, too - to separate balls.

Uh-oh. Know that little flap with Rupert Murdoch and his newspapers over in the U.K.? Well, prettyboy Jude Law says he and sidekick Ben Jackson had their mobile phones hacked by Murdoch's now-dead paper News of the World when they got to JFK Airport. Could be the first U.S. case of this screamin' woolly mammoth of a journalistic mess. Hello, FBI! Hello, CIA! Oh boy oh boy oh boy, a big ol' can of U.S.-Certified Govt. Grade A trouble! In June, former Law skweezie Sienna Miller got £100,000 (about $165,000) and an apology from the U.K. division of Murdoch's News Corp. after getting her phone hacked.

Now here's an icky one. Rachel Uchitel is the lady who told the world she loved up Tiger Woods, which trashed Tiger's marriage and stuff. And Elin Nordegren is Tiger's wronged ex-wife. We were feeling good because Elin was dating this moneybags guy, Jamie Dingman. Now we're feeling icky, because it seems Rachel was with him first; they even shared a house in Miami. Totally icky. Meantime, Rachel's suing her former lawyer, Gloria Allred, for advising her to give some of her $10 million settlement with Tiger back to him when Rachel blabbed and broke their confidentiality clause.

Brooke Mueller, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen (see above) and serial rehabber, has had quite the last couple of days. Last week, she misbehaved and was invited to depart an airplane before it left for Cancún. Why is she going to Cancún? For rehab using banned hallucinogenic substances, of course! There's this center that uses Ibogaine, illegal Stateside, in a seven-day detox program. It's "extreme," Brooke says, but she hopes it will "rewire" her brain. Maybe Charlie should try it, too. On second thought, no. He might like it too much.

Ryan Phillippe, 36, and Demi Lovato, 18, have been "really hot and heavy" for the last few months, a source tells E! Online. The former Reese Witherspoon spousal unit has a 2-week-old baby with ex-gf Alexis Knapp. . . . Jeffrey Atkins, better known as rapper Ja Rule, was sentenced Monday to 28 months in the clink for failing to file tax returns. . . . MLB Hall of Fame pitcher and Texas Rangers president Nolan Ryan, 64, was hospitalized Sunday for recurring heart problems. He was expected to be released in a few days. . . . Paris Hilton's bro Barron has to pay $4.9 million to a gas station attendant he hit with his Mercedes Benz in 2008 while drunk. Not the car. Him.