How to Keep a Deflated Beach Ball Rollin', Lesson MDMXCII: Carrie Prejean was fired by Donald Trump as Miss California USA in June because of her anti-gay remarks and racy photos and etc. Now Carrie's suing the Miss California pageant, officials such as Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis (but not Trump, who fired her!) and various nearby public buildings and plant life for her canning. The charge? Religious discrimination! In the suit, filed yesterday in L.A. Superior Court, Prejean claims the pageant conspired to boot her after her remarks at the April 19 Miss USA finals (she lost), and also on NBC's Today, in which she said she'd rather be "biblically correct than politically correct." Pageant officials say, nah, we fired her because she didn't show up at scheduled appearances. Lewis says Carrie is using the suit "as a chance to get publicity for her upcoming book," titled Still Standing.

Checking his tongue in the mirror

Here's to Jason Mraz, 32, singer and porkpie hat guy. His tune "I'm Yours" is now the longest-running song in the history of the Billboard Hot 100 chart - 71 weeks and counting. "I'm Yours" first charted in May 2008, peaked at No. 6 in September '08 and refuses to leave. Former record-holder was LeAnn Rimes' "How Do I Live," which lived for 69 weeks from 1997 on. Mraz's fun-to-play, fun-to-sing tune ("I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror / And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer") is a mainstay of college jams and coffeehouses throughout the land. The much-watched Billboard chart began Aug. 4, 1958, when "Poor Little Fool" by Ricky Nelson was No. 1. The current topper is "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas.

N.Y. venue features pot-happy police

Twenty-three fans were reportedly arrested at a Lil' Wayne concert in western New York last week. On Thursday, Wayne performed in Darien Lake Theme Park in Darien Center, N.Y., not far from Rochester, along with Young Jeezy, Soulja Boy and Jeremih. It was a well-meaning attempt to atone for three recent Wayne no-shows in the area. Many of the arrests involved marijuana. They're tough at Darien Lake! Eleven were arrested at a concert there by the violent, youth-ruining mega-death band Nickleback, 16 at a Blink-182 show, and 11 more at a concert by Phish. Phish phans, get it together! Try harder!

Robertson on mend after heart surgery

Christian televangelist Pat Robertson, 79, founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network, underwent surgery to correct atrial fibrillation yesterday. The 10-hour operation was performed at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst, N.C., where Robertson had been treated for fibrillations. Dr. Andy C. Kiser said he expected a full recovery.

Brown: I'm guilty, sorry, I can't recall

How to Keep a Deflated Beach Ball Rollin' Uphill, Lesson MDMXCIII: Convicted and admitted lady-hitter Chris Brown, sentenced to five years' probation and six months' community labor for attacking his then-girlfriend, Barbadian singer Rihanna, on Feb. 8, appears again tomorrow on CNN's searing, probing Larry King show. Brown's also in the new People mag. Flanked by his mom, Joyce Hawkins, and celeb attorney Mark Geragos, Brown tells King (a) he cannot remember the night he pounded on Rihanna (odd . . . he must have forgotten since pleading guilty in court); (b) he still loves her; (c) he's still in shock over it all; (d) his father abused his mother and terrorized the family; and (e) "it's crazy." Uh-huh.

A rumor too silly to be ignored

You usually get only one biological father. But in the wack world of entertainment, you can have an unlimited number of dads-by-rumor. Prince Michael Jackson II, a.k.a. Blanket, is 7, and the third and final child of The King of Popular Fantasy, Sir Michael Jackson His Own Bad Self. Macaulay Culkin, he of Home Alone movies and not much else, is 29, and is now said by British tab The Sun to have donated his sperm to help create Blanket. So upset she split her infinitive, Culkin rep Michelle Bega calls the story "too preposterous for us to even acknowledge," although by saying that, Michelle, weren't you acknowledging it? No? Yes? Hello? Oh, she hung up. . . . Rumor has lots of guys stepping in for Michael in the paternity line (for example, Arnold Klein, MJ's dermatologist), and several claim they are Michael's love children (for example, San Franciscan performer Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson, 24, who is asking for someone, anyone, to test his DNA - please!). There's gold in them thar genes!

¡Bailemos en honor del Rey de Pop!

Speaking of MJ, Saturday would have been his 51st birthday. So what do you do? Get about 13,000 of your pals for a group dance to "Thriller," that's what! Or that's what they claimed they did in the streets of Mexico City Saturday. Organizer Javier Hidalgo said 12,937 aficionados danced to the 1983 tune in front of the Monument to the Revolution. Jackson has become a renewed craze in Mexico since his death, so thousands dressed up in ghoul costumes and Michael gloves. If the Guinness Book of World Records bunch endorse the attempt, and they will decide next week, it'd trounce the piddly, lame, hopeless band of 242 College of William and Mary students who claimed the record in May. Photos from the Mexican event, if anywhere near accurate, suggest the William and Mary folks are done.

Zellweger in fender-bender

Renée Zellweger, just driving along minding her own business in Beverly Hills, got into an accident yesterday morning. Some nutty Hollyweird driver pulled a U-turn right into her. She is unhurt, according to sources. But she's willing to read a script. . . .

Man has body, 60, and face, 25

Rumors swirl! Demi Moore - has she has plastic facial reorganization or not? Some rumorers say up to half a mil has been expended to reface her. Aw, now it seems not so. The Telegraph says Demi has told Marie Claire France: "I've never had it done. But I would never judge those who have." Know who sure has had it done and even admits it? Former Olympian Bruce Jenner . . . well, OK, no, his stepdaughter Kim Kardashian, who'd say anything, admits it for him, saying he had his face refacialed this year as a birthday gift to himself; the former decathlon gold medalist, who now really doesn't look like himself, but maybe that's the idea, turns 60 in October.

She'll tell you even if you don't ask

Oh, here's something new: Megan Fox, Queen of TMI, talking in public about herself! She graces the cover of the October Cosmopolitan, and informs us that she always calls men "boys" ("I always called them boys. Maybe it's a superiority complex - my needing to keep them down") and that she can count the number of boys she's been naked in front of "on one hand." Same hand over and over again, Meg? Just asking.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.