Forget Susan B. Anthony. Forget Simone de Bouvoir and Hélène Cixous. Throw out your Andrea Dworkin and Susan Faludi books. There's a new avant-garde feminist leader in town, and her name is - Kate Gosselin.

You heard me. Kennedy clan member, award-winning journalist, and California first lady Maria Shriver - a total underachiever next to Kate - has invited the star of Jon & Kate Plus 8, TLC's fetishistic reality show about a family of sextuplets and twins, to her annual Women's Conference, to be held in October in Long Beach, Calif. Shriver says the invitation came at the suggestion of her teen daughters. (The invite was sent before the implosion of the Gosselins' marriage exploded all over the media.)

It makes sense. See, Kate is Everywoman, and it's clear she has much to teach the overeducated conference regulars, who include Cindy McCain, Elizabeth Edwards, Katie Couric, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and actress Kelly Preston.

To butter or not to butter . . .

That is the Michael Jackson-related question that has preoccupied Iowans for the past week. Days after the One-Gloved One's death, organizers of the Iowa State Fair, which runs from Aug. 13 to 23 in Des Moines, announced they would supplement their annual display of a cow sculpture made of butter with a butter King of Pop.

Fair rep Lori Chappell said the butter M.J. would be a part of a moonwalk-themed display that would include still another sculpture, one commemorating the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong's version of the moonwalk.

But because of overwhelming response from the public - both positive and negative - fair organizers have decided to ask The People to weigh in on the planned display. Concerned citizens can vote at www.iowastatefair.org. Results will be announced on July 17.

Kate Winslet: No drugs. Ever.

Kate Winslet, who graces the cover of the August issue of Harper's Bazaar, tells the mag that when it comes to dope, she just says no.

"When everyone was out getting plastered, I didn't do all of that. I was working. I was doing life," said Kate, 33, who already was acting when we were all getting drunk back in '91. "I feel very lucky. I've never taken drugs."

Kate said she's happy people were happy with her bod, which she put out there in her post-WWII Nazi romantic tragedy, The Reader.

"If people are noticing my boobs in a movie and saying they do what real boobs do, then that's great," she said. But, she said, enough's enough: "I can't keep getting away with it. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my [body parts]. I have to put them back."

No one can beat Reagan

More people watched Princess Diana's funeral in '97 than tuned in for Michael Jackson's memorial service on Tuesday.

USAToday.com reports that 30.9 mil viewers caught the warbler's service on 19 broadcast networks from 1 to 4 p.m. on Tuesday.

Diana's funeral, broadcast early on a Saturday morning, drew 33.3 mil.

But as beloved as they were, neither Michael nor Diana could match former President Ronald Reagan, whose Friday night services in '04 were watched by 35.1 mil.

Wanted: Priest for medical dramedy

Gossipers and TV fans are going into hyperdrive with an E! News report that the producers of ABC's Grey's Anatomy are casting about for an actor to play a Catholic priest in his 60s for the dramedy's season premiere. Why, it can only mean one thing!

Since priests marry people, and since Anatomy's plot has been driven by the on-again, off-again romance between Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek (Patrick Dempsey), then the sixth season will open with their wedding. An airtight argument, no?

But Catholic priests also perform last rites, E! notes. Aha! T.R. Knight is leaving the show, so that must mean his character George is going to die. So which will it be? I can only hope it'll be both: George dies suddenly in that nerve-racking instant when Derek hesitates between stunned silence and "I do."

Moonwalking on the charts

Interest in Michael Jackson's music has soared since his untimely death on June 25.

Last week, MJ's music made history when nine of his albums appeared on Billboard's Top 10 Album chart, selling 415,000 copies.

A week later, the interest continues to heat up: According to Nielsen SoundScan, Jackson albums, which now claim the entire Top 10, this week sold 800,000 copies. His compilation Number Ones claims the No. 1 spot.

Meanwhile, Billboard's Hot Digital Songs chart features five Jackson tunes, including "Man in the Mirror" among the top 10 spots.

Potter actor potting pot?

Seems actor Jamie Waylett, who has played that nasty, somewhat pudgy bully Vincent Crabbe in all six Harry Potter films, has a horticultural hobby. London's Daily Telegraph reports that the 19-year-old yesterday was charged with growing 10 marijuana plants valued at more than $3,000.

Waylett was arrested in April when cops raided his mum's house in the North London borough of Camden. Waylett, due back in court later this month, could face up to 14 years for cannabis production. The lesser charge of possession carries a sentence of five years max.

HBO to go Nanoo-Nanoo

Mork & Mindy survivor Robin Williams, 57, who has done four comedy specials on HBO, is poised to do his fifth. The pay cable network says it plans to air a special of Williams performing in Washington, D.C.

Williams' show, which will be part of his Self-Destruction tour, be shown in December.

Brooke Shields' spicy water

Some of us have spent years, decades, of sleepless nights wondering exactly what Brooke Shields keeps in her fridge. The model-actress this week ended our pain in an interview in the mag Every Day with Rachael Ray.

Pressed by Double R to spill the beans, Brooke declared, "we always have 'spicy water,' which is what my daughters call seltzer," adding, "I'm a big roll-ups person because one of my girls doesn't like bread."

Brooke also complimented hubby Chris Henchy's facility in the kitchen: "He makes me coffee every morning, even if I have a 5 a.m. flight . . . I love the way he makes it."

More greenbacks for 'Transformers'

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has passed a sacred Hollywood milestone: On Tuesday, the flick shot past $300 mil domestically after 14 days in release. That's good for the second spot on the fast-money list: The Dark Knight made it in 10 days.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from the Associated Press.