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Gift + gratuity = bribe?

Ethics Board’s wish for more clarity in city law creates unexpected pushback

I BRIBED A COP ONCE.

Ever do that?

If you did, you know it was not a "gift" nor a "gratuity" nor a "tip." Today's outing is about ethics, and I'm laying a foundation.

The bribe was solicited by a cop after I made an illegal left on Broad up at Erie. This was during my first year here - my car still carried New York plates - and before my life sentence began at the Daily News.

The patrol car pulled me over, and the cop waited for me to come to him, which was different. Usually, cops come to you.

I told him it was an innocent mistake - I actually properly signaled to make the improper turn - and he told me through his open window it would mean points on my license, a fine and my insurance rates would rise, "but we can settle it right here."

When I asked how, he told me $20. What a bargain, even for 1966!

I took an Andrew Jackson from my wallet and held it out to him. He freaked and barked, "Drop it in the car, don't hand it to me!"

So this is how it's done in Philly, I figured.

I was wrong to pay it, the cop was wrong to seek it, and I never did it again.

The memory returned a few weeks ago when the Philadelphia Board of Ethics, which administers and enforces public-integrity laws, came up with a list of fixes designed to make things less vague in the city's ethics policy. Critics pounced.

Current law bans gifts of "substantial economic value," but what does that mean, the board asked.

It suggested limiting cash gifts to $50 and noncash gifts to $200 a year, with certain exceptions, such as from close friends.

Critics screeched that no cash gift should be permissible, and I agree with that. Even in normal social situations - birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas - cash is gauche. (And untraceable.)

The simple thing would be to ban any cash gift, meaning zero, but that's not so easy, Ethics Board executive director Shane Creamer told me.

Since the Philadelphia Code allows gifts, City Council would have to rewrite it to zero, and Creamer thinks that's unlikely.

Even Mayor Nutter's strong executive order banning gifts has a few exceptions. It covers about 80 percent of the workforce, and everyone in all departments that report to him. The other 20 percent are staffers in other elective offices, such as the D.A., City Council and the courts.

The issue of gifts, tips and gratuities (which become bribes when payback is expected, but go prove that in court) is complex, and it's almost impossible to anticipate every vagary of human relationships. I don't think public employees should get monetary "thanks" for doing the jobs they are paid to do. At some point, it just looks like graft. We can't stop it completely, but we can reduce it.

When a citizen feels the need to thank a public employee, we can certainly allow inconsequential items, such as a Hallmark card, or a small box of candy or flowers.

Personally, I think a thank-you letter is even better, especially when a copy is sent to a supervisor. Why does a "thank you" have to be accompanied by a gift?

If Council won't ban all gift-giving, there might be a fun way to handle it:

Department heads get to choose a gift from the top shelf, managers get a gift from the middle shelf and drones select from the bottom shelf.