Steve and Mia: Should I cheat on my wife to have a threesome?

I am 62 and my wife is 58. We have two grown children. I’m not in the best of health, but one of the things I’d like to do before I die is have a threesome. Even though I know I can’t perform in the bedroom like I used when I was a much younger man, this has always been a fantasy of mine. My wife, though, is deeply religious and won’t even consider bringing in another woman, which saddens me. Would it be wrong for me to arrange a threesome on my own and not include her?

Steve: You know the answer. If you do it – to satisfy your bucket list – do not include her and do not tell her. Generally I endorse full disclosure, but this is an exception.

Mia: Dude, don’t listen to Steve! If you have a threesome behind your wife’s back and she finds out, you may wind up in divorce court.  Think of how your children would feel once they find out why their parents aren’t together any more. No one night stand is worth it and I don’t care how many people are involved. Besides, you’re old enough to know by now that some fantasies are best kept as just that — fantasies. Turn on some porn, if you must, and fantasize away. But don’t you dare step outside your marriage just so you can scratch something off of your sexual bucket list.

 My boyfriend of two months asked for sex for his birthday and I’m inclined to go along with his request. How do I make it really special?  I need advice.

Mia:  For starters, birthday sex is commonly defined as the one time of the year when a recipient gets to lie back and enjoy the experience without doing anything to reciprocate. That said, as the birthday sex giver, your job is to make it as memorable as possible. The easiest way to do that is to book a room in a fancy hotel or in some exotic place. If that’s too expensive, you’ll have to get creative at home. I suggest you buy whipped cream for licking and some candles for warm wax dribbling. Also, invest in a new naughty nighty to wear with your heels and maybe a sex toy or two.  Practice safer sex and go all out. He’ll thank you for it.

Steve: Bring in another girl (see above question). It seems like a male fantasy. Oh, seriously? Your question sounds like you haven’t done it before. If it’s a first time, it will be special.