Mia: You can try but you already have dude's answer. The moral of the story is never give anything X-rated to a friend that you wouldn't also give to an enemy. You made a rookie move. Now, the proverbial ball is in his court. You'd better hope his character isn't as shady as you alluded to in your email. Good luck.
Steve: I'm afraid there is nothing to be gained by confrontation. If you get a copy, what you will get is a copy. There's no way to be sure it is the one and only. If he posts it online and you see it, preserve the evidence. You may have a lawsuit.
Steve: Yes. Your husband may have a duty to his daughter, but not to her boo. Tell hubby having him around makes you uncomfortable. You might agree to an occasional sleepover, but not regular booty calls.