My girlfriend is a nice girl and everything. I love her very much but I have a few concerns about me and her in the bedroom. She just lays there on the bed and don’t say nothing except for maybe a moan or two. I’m the one doing all the work. How do I get her to be more of an active participant?
Mia: You have yourself a starfish. That’s when women lie on a bed, limbs spread, and pretty much zone out. If that’s not working for you, you’re going to have to tell her.
Steve: Take the starfish as a challenge. Have you examined your own love-making skills lately? I’d bone up on the foreplay and aim for more moans and some groans, too. Go slow and good luck.
A married man has been stringing me along for three years and I don’t know how to get him to stop manipulating me. He used to tell me that he didn’t love his wife and that he was going to leave her once his kids were older. That never happened, even though the oldest is in high school. I emailed her and told her everything but she says she still loves him and is not going to leave him. I know he loves me and that he’s only staying with her for the kids. I’m not eating. I’m not sleeping. I cry all the time. I can’t take much more of this. I’m not happy with the way things are but the thought of not being with him is even worse.
Steve: He is not staying with her just for the kids. After three years, you ought to know the score and it has you holding a goose egg. You need to drop him and get support from friends, family or a therapist.
Mia: Steve’s right. Let that man go. Stop trying to lure him away from his wife and kids. Don’t listen to his complaints about his wife. If he was that miserable, he would leave. Since he hasn’t, you have all the information you need. Go find a life of your own.