http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia RSS Feed for DN Col Steve and Mia en-us Fri, 25 May 2012 07:00:00 GMT 2012-05-25T07:00:00Z en-us http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120525_.html Q: I am an attorney. Several years ago I had a case in which my "adversary" was a nice, very attractive woman. In 2009, I friended her on Facebook. In 2010, she updated her Facebook profile to indicate she was in a relationship. But she has not posted any new photos of herself with her boyfriend in more than a year. She has also not made any mention of him at all on Facebook. For a couple of weeks recently, her relationship status disappeared. Then it was updated to indicate she is in a relationship — but no new pictures. Fri, 25 May 2012 07:00:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120525_.html 2012-05-25T07:00:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120511_Ex_rsquo_s_greed_ruins_Mother_rsquo_s_Day.html Q: My husband’s ex-wife always guilt-trips her daughter into going all out for her on her birthday and on Mother’s Day. My stepdaughter gets a very small allowance, so her dad is the one who has to pay. I think this is his ex-wife’s way of sticking it to my husband, above and beyond the hefty child support and alimony she already gets. I want to put a stop to this, but I don’t want to be a wicked stepmother. Please respond quickly. I overhead my stepdaughter tell my husband that her mother wants a certain Michael Kors watch, and the thought of that going on the credit card we both pay for makes me want to scream. Mia: Buy a pretty but inexpensive picture frame and put a photo of your stepdaughter in it. Also, pick up some arts and craft supplies so your stepdaughter can create a beautiful handmade card for her mother. If your stepdaughter protests, which she might since she’s used to dropping money like it’s hot, explain to her that your finances are limited. Help your stepdaughter wrap her gift beautifully and make sure she has it with her when she goes to her mother’s house on Mother’s Day. If she returns with tales of how her mother complained, suggest she get a part-time job, if she’s old enough, or explain to her mother that she doesn’t have any money. Fri, 11 May 2012 13:44:29 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120511_Ex_rsquo_s_greed_ruins_Mother_rsquo_s_Day.html 2012-05-11T13:44:29Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/149134095.html Q: In 1978, I shared a platonic beer with a young woman whom I’ll call “J.” Our friendship was kind of brother-and-sister. Recently, we ran into one another at a Rod Stewart concert. This platonic relationship has gotten very, very close to the next level and it feels so weird on both ends. Do we proceed to enter into a place where there is no turning back or do we keep our incredible platonic friendship? P.S. Her lips are softer than any lips I’ve ever kissed. Steve: Platonic? I have platonic female friends, but I have no clue how soft their lips are. You are officially kicked out of the platonic club. There is no turning back. Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:00:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/149134095.html 2012-04-27T07:00:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120420_Supervisor_won_rsquo_t_stop_flirting_and_talking.html Q: This is a non-romance relationship question, but I hope you can answer it anyway. I work in a small office with 10 employees. We are always busy, but our direct supervisor spends most of his day disrupting the workplace by flirting with the young female employees and telling stories about his past jobs. I don’t want to be rude to him, but he wastes a lot of my time and I get behind in my work. If I tell the big boss, I’m afraid he’ll do nothing and my supervisor will make my life miserable. Don’t tell me to find another job. Where I live, that’s nearly impossible. Steve: As Jean-Paul Sartre has observed, only the guy who isn’t rowing has time to rock the boat. You’ll have to trust the “big boss” on this one. Most bosses will try to remedy situations that undermine productivity. Fri, 20 Apr 2012 07:00:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120420_Supervisor_won_rsquo_t_stop_flirting_and_talking.html 2012-04-20T07:00:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120413_Wife_is_cheating_on_hubby_-_with_Zumba.html Q: My wife began taking Zumba classes one night a week months ago. She gained more than 48 pounds postpartum two years ago and was miserable. I was her No. 1 supportive fan. That has changed. My wife now goes four nights a week, and I am left taking care of our two children and the house. She meets up with a former co-worker who is a woman. I never would have thought my wife would cheat on me, let alone with a member of the same sex. However, I strongly suspect it. She has grown distant, and now ridicules me saying that I am the “woman” in our relationship. It is so painful because I lost my job in 2010 and my wife has a great job — which she constantly reminds me of. This other woman texts her, and now they are on Facebook and play online games. We are both 42. I mentioned marriage counseling and she blew me off. Fri, 13 Apr 2012 07:00:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120413_Wife_is_cheating_on_hubby_-_with_Zumba.html 2012-04-13T07:00:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120406_Hubby_wants_to_outspend_neighbors.html Q: My husband has a bad case of "keeping up with the Joneses." Every time our neighbor buys a new car or fixes his house up, he feels the need to do it too. We are already deeply in debt, and when I complain about it, he says I shouldn't worry, because we'll pay it off. Fri, 06 Apr 2012 07:00:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120406_Hubby_wants_to_outspend_neighbors.html 2012-04-06T07:00:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120323_Her_husband_spends_way_too_much_time_with_their_neighbor.html Q: My husband is devoted to me and the kids - or so I thought, before he started helping one of our neighbors. At first, he would go and cut her lawn. That turned into helping her with projects inside the house. He's over there at least once a week. I try to be nice, since her husband died in Afghanistan while serving our country and she's all alone now, but this is getting out of hand. . Steve: Maybe he's just being a good neighbor. Or, maybe, those inside projects are really inside projects, if you get my drift. Either way, it's time for a chat with him. Possible solution: You both help your neighbor. Fri, 23 Mar 2012 14:35:37 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120323_Her_husband_spends_way_too_much_time_with_their_neighbor.html 2012-03-23T14:35:37Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120316_Steve_and_Mia__Divorcee_turned_40_and_became_invisible_to_the_opposite_sex.html Q: I am a divorced mother in her 40s. After I turned 40, I realized that I had become completely invisible to members of the opposite sex. It was a very odd feeling. They could look right through me and see things behind me. When I was in my 20s, I had no shortage of suitors. But now that I am single again, at this age, what are my chances of finding anyone besides leftover losers? Fri, 16 Mar 2012 07:01:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120316_Steve_and_Mia__Divorcee_turned_40_and_became_invisible_to_the_opposite_sex.html 2012-03-16T07:01:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120309_Steve_and_Mia__Wife_uses_porn_sites_to_turn_her_husband_on.html Q: My husband and I are very busy - work and kids take up a lot of our daily lives. I recently found that if I want sex and I link my husband to a porn site I like, I get very good results. My friends who are my age (40-plus) complain about not getting enough sex. I told them how I use porn sites to encourage my husband. I got very negative reactions. Is it really abnormal for women to look at porn? Why do people find this so strange? Fri, 09 Mar 2012 08:01:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120309_Steve_and_Mia__Wife_uses_porn_sites_to_turn_her_husband_on.html 2012-03-09T08:01:00Z http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120302_Steve_and_Mia__A_chow_downer.html Q: I've been dating a woman for about a year now and we're headed toward marriage. Everything is nearly perfect except in one area: Cooking. My love enjoys cooking but is terrible at it. I have suffered in silence - it's usually only once a week - but if Fri, 02 Mar 2012 08:01:00 GMT http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/steve_and_mia/20120302_Steve_and_Mia__A_chow_downer.html 2012-03-02T08:01:00Z