Q: I recently came across your June 2017 article: http://www.philly.com/philly/living/sex_love_dating/Is-a-dating-coach-the-answer-Depends-on-the-question.html Hoping you can help me…
My roommate (and one of my closest friends) is desperate about having a relationship. She keeps falling into scams online or throwing everything and the kitchen sink at the guy in the first few texts/encounters. She lets everything in life hang on whether a guy sends her a text, etc. She is 39 and is losing her mind about not having a husband or babies. I have been trying to give her advice, but she never listens. I feel like a broken record and am at the point where I am sick of hearing about the “issues” with the guys when she needs to work on her approach. I think she could benefit from a dating coach, or someone to give her some more “tough love” about her approach to dating (Hello! Guys can smell desperation from a mile away.) outside of her friends. I was wondering, since you have connections, if there were any names you would suggest looking up in Philadelphia. We live in the Conshy area, but not a deterrent to heading into the city. Thanks for your help!
Steve and Mia: Steve Ward, the chief executive of Master Matchmaking, runs one of the area’s best matchmaking businesses. You may remember him from VH1’s “Tough Love” on which he starred and was executive producer. Ward is known for keeping it real, as they say. His company is a high-end, family-operated firm originally based in Pennsylvania but has since gone national. For more information about services it provides, call 800-734-9230 or log onto mastermatchmakers.com. You can also try Annie White, whose company is Sick of Single (imsickofsingle.com). A corporate America dropout, she started her own coaching business after going through a bad breakup and realizing that what she’d been taught about dating and relationships was wrong. White is newer on the scene but she’s on the come-up.
Q: It’s the fall, the most beautiful time of year for me. I remember since college, when a guy would meet a girl — or vice versa — and one or the other wanted to start a relationship. Sometimes it happened. Most of them didn’t last. Too young! I’m in my 40s now and lost my husband to cancer two years ago. As my friends are urging me find a new husband, I wonder if the romance will be like going back into the past. Is that possible? Or should I be more of a detective in finding a good man, not just a guy romancing on me for sex?
Steve: OK, the man:
“I’m gonna do all the things for you, a girl wants a man to do.
Oh, baby (Oh, baby)
I’ll sacrifice for you, I’ll even do wrong for you.
Oh, baby (Oh, baby)”
Now the woman:
“I’m gonna shower you with love and affection.
Look out it’s coming in your direction.
And I’m… I’m gonna make you love me.
Oh, yes I will.
Yes I will.”
Really sweet when you’re in your 20s, right? But if you think about it in your 40s, it’s kinda scary. Doing something “wrong” for you? I like your goal of being a detective. Get a lot of information on a man before you make the first date. What do women friends say about him? Who are the guys he hangs out with? It can be time-consuming, but research is better than knowing only that he seems attractive.
Mia: How to begin dating again? See our answer to the question above, for starters. But don’t overlook online dating. That can be an easy and fun way to meet someone new. Just make sure you post fabulous photos and are honest in your answers. Don’t give out too much information too early and only meet in a public place until you get to know the person. Oh, and the new terminology for this time is year is cuffing season. You know, as in handcuff. You get “cuffed” until spring when the search for love begins anew. Have fun.