Q: I don't understand men and need help! I've been talking to this really nice guy who sends me random pictures and videos of his nether parts. We can be talking about anything under the sun, and suddenly, there it is on my phone. It always leaves me speechless. But he never says anything about it. We eventually continue on like nothing ever happened. I don't get it. What's he trying to do?
Mia: Dude is either fishing for a compliment, or he hopes you'll respond in kind. Don't, though. His behavior is juvenile. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a photo of some guy's junk. Especially if it's a good picture. But there's a time and a place for an NSFW (not safe for work) image to pop up on your phone. It's all about context and finesse. Point this out to junior, and see if it makes a difference, at least in the timing of his behavior.
Steve: OMG, what a Weiner! Is this supposed to be about romance? If so, this guy has no sensitivity with women. He shouldn't be pushing something in your face like a cheap salesman. He should let it show itself, beneath the pants, while he's kissing you, say. It's up to the woman whether she wants to meet Mr. Penis. Women need to be as direct as possible on what turns them on and what turns them off. Don't be shy. Tell him that no matter how how proud the man is, Mr. P should never bat lead-off.
Q: I like when a guy makes noise in bed. It turns me on. The guy I'm dating now doesn't make a sound. I tried talking to him about it, but nothing has changed. Should I give up?
Steve: No. He may not like it, but I bet he can make it. The solution is in the details. As usual, good sex is dependent on good communication. Ask him about what noise turns him on. Tell him what turns you on. If it's something he doesn't like directly, see if you can come up with a compromise. Some sex partners love to scream their heads off, and others are greatly aroused only in silence. I bet there's a happy medium in it.
Mia: Steve's right. Also, you probably enjoy listening for sounds that indicate he's having as much as fun as you are, right? If his volume is turned down too low, or he's not making any sounds at all, look at the expression on his face. Are his toes curling? Those are also signs that lover boy is enjoying himself.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of
answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or email@example.com.