Girlfriend's tattoo gives guy that inking feeling

Q: I have an issue that cost me my relationship. My girlfriend (now my ex) has a tattoo on her arm that says "Big John" with a heart drawn next to the letters. I was very upset and offended when I was out with her and it was visible. I was seeing her for approximately four years and everyday when I see her, I had to look at that stupid tattoo. We had many arguments and disagreements about this. She felt, if I was tired of looking at it, I should pay to have it removed or covered. I was really tired of looking at it. My suggestion to her was to at least wear a long-sleeved shirt to cover it. I am curious as to what you both think. It caused major problems and I felt disrespected by it.

Steve: The solution is to add a few letters to John. It could be "Johnstown" and no one would think it romantic. Or, how about "Big Johnson," which suggests her fandom of your asset.

Mia: I don't think it's the tattoo that's really bugging you but something about the girlfriend - or is she your ex? Explore that instead of being distracted by what's on her arm. If she were the right woman, she could have her ex's name tattooed on her face and you wouldn't give a damn.

Q: I met a girl 2 years ago during my first weekend at college and we have been best friends ever since. About 4 months after we met, I asked her out on a date and she turned me down because she didn't feel the same way and didn't want to lose me as a friend. From that point until 3 months ago, on a regular basis we would talk about why she didn't want to try. She told me that I was her best friend, she has never been as comfortable around a guy as me. I didn't get it. We would fight about it and we didn't talk for a month. We started to talk again and then 3 months ago she told me she had feelings for me. The semester was about to end so she said that she didn't want to label anything until after the summer since we weren't going to see each other. Toward the end of June, we had a fight about me texting her constantly and she said that we shouldn't get into a relationship. A couple of days later, she tells me that she is scared to lose me as a friend and being far away from me is hard and that she still wants to talk about being in a relationship when I come back in August. A couple of weeks ago, she tells me that after thinking and praying, she realizes that all of her excuses for not wanting to be with me are because she doesn't want a relationship. She isn't in a place to "fully commit herself to me" and she thinks that we fight too much. What am I to make of this? She has said so many things that I don't know what is true.

Mia: Take her at her word. She's not saying she doesn't want you in her life. She's saying she doesn't want to be in a relationship. That could change. Hang in there.

Steve: Why are you in such a rush? Two of my best friends over decades are women I dated who dumped me after short romances. Smart move on their part. But the friendships have been superior to what any romance would've been. Think about that for a moment. You can meet a woman someday, fall in love and have a great marriage, plus keep the current woman as your friend forever.

Contact Steve and Mia at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.