Q: I have been married for 25 years and cannot believe I have not been getting oral sex for the last 10 years. When we were dating, she would do anything. Now, she says she is too old to do that.
We have seen multiple doctors about it. She just doesn't want to do it anymore.
Am I one of the few who is going through this? Thanks for your input.
Mia: If you want your wife to open her mouth, then dude, you need to open yours first. Ask her to explain what's going on.
You write that you've been to doctors. That's great! But if there's nothing medically wrong that would lower her sex drive, you've got to find what's going in her head.
Is she resentful about issues in your marriage? Have you done something to turn her off? Is there another man in her life?
Keep asking questions in a gentle way, and hopefully you can figure out what's holding her back. Show her you care and continue romancing her, and she will probably surprise you.
Steve: Humans change as they age, and sex is no exception.
She just doesn't like it. If oral sex is the most important thing in your relationship, then this ain't much of a relationship.
I recommend a psychologist visit for both of you to explore the disagreement and find an acceptable solution.
Q: Hi, guys. I have had my eye on this smoking-hot girl at my gym. We spoke a few times and I got a good vibe, so I asked her for her number. Her response was, "I'm ... with someone" - with kind of a long, drawn-out "I'm."
Now I catch her staring at me all the time. We haven't spoken since then. But the response was almost as if she was thinking about it even if she said she was with someone.
Should I start talking to her again to see if she changed her mind or just leave it alone?
Steve: A free guy trying to take a gal who's already taken is a nice challenge, assuming the boyfriend doesn't find out and try to kill you.
I'd stay with having the gal as a friend with the understanding you're not stepping up until she decides to step down from her current beau.
Mia: "With someone" doesn't mean married, so by all means, try again.
Offer to buy her a smoothie at the juice bar the next time you see her, or ask her if she needs spotting when she's lifting heavy weights.
Keep it casual and see what develops.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of
answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.