Why won't boyfriend reveal anything about himself?
Both his parents are dead, nowand he says he has no siblings. I researched his name online and could find nothing. Should I ignore this?
Q: How do I get the man in my life to be more open? We've been dating for three months, and everything has been near perfect, except he won't tell me anything about himself. I ask about his job, and he says, "I never talk about my work." I ask about his family, and he says next to nothing. His dad was in the service, and they lived in eight or nine different places as he grew up. Both his parents are dead, and he says he has no siblings. I researched his name online and could find nothing. Should I ignore this?
Steve: No, you should worry about it. Unless he has created a false name and identity, he has no reason to keep his life so secret. Why would he do that? To avoid being found by law enforcement, most likely.
Mia: Nah, dude is married and using you for sex. Don't believe me? Do a public-records search to find marriage records he might have. You'll need to know his legal first and last names and where a marriage might have taken place. There are services online that will access this info for you, or you can try looking it up yourself at the courthouse, once you know which one.
While you're at it, pull up property records for the address where he claims to live. Also, drop by there unexpectedly. Don't go up and knock on the door. I don't advise that. Call him and say you are in the neighborhood and would like to drop by. Listen carefully to his response. Does he have a convoluted reason you can't come over?
If you're lucky enough to get an invitation in, casually look around for signs that he's living with someone. If there are photos on display, ask about the people in them. Are there women's clothes in his closet?
Check out his social media. Ask him to take a photo of the two of you together and post it.
Don't forget to look him in the eye and ask him. Be super casual - don't put him on the defensive. Flatter him with a smile and a raised eyebrow, then say, "You've never been married?"
Send your questions to S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Phila., PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.