Stud or spud? Steve & Mia analyze a couch potato

Q: I'M DIVORCED, in my early 30s and have been dating a great guy for nine months. We have similar interests, he's a really nice person and he has a good job. We haven't really talked about marriage yet, although we do love each other.

I have one concern that's been holding me back a bit. When I get home from work, I really need to talk about my day to unwind. But when he gets home from work, he wants to eat dinner in front of the TV and has no interest in talking. When we're together, he's mostly into TV or playing computer games. The only time he talks to me is if he wants sex.

Can I expect this behavior to change in time? Do men ever stop thinking of women in terms other than sex?

Mia: Humph. He sounds like a dud to me.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a couch potato? Let me tell you this: He's showing you who he is and what life will be like living with a boring wallflower.

You've already been married once. Is this really the best you can do?

The worst thing you can do is to go into a relationship hoping your partner will change. Most likely he won't. He'll probably get worse. People show you their best side when they're trying to woo you.

This yawner of a guy is more into his computer games and TV shows than he is into listening to you. If you stick around, you'd be wise to get yourself a gym membership so you'll have someone to talk to after work.

Steve: No, men will never stop thinking of you in terms of sex. But a lot of men would think of you in other terms as well: partner, friend, confidante, co-conspirator, all things that require conversation.

And Mia's right, you can't change him. He can only get worse.

Q: I was reading the Daily News when I came across your column about the lady who was seeing a new guy who confessed to having a foot fetish. It's something that only people with truly erotic minds can appreciate. As long as the lady keeps her feet clean and neat, she can keep them in my face.

Signed: Truly a foot guy.

Mia: For those into foot play, we recommend at least weekly pedicures and lots of scrubbing in between times.

Steve: Most guys don't like a woman to walk all over them, but for those who do, don't neglect the nail polish and footwear.