Sideshow: Plain Jane

The Jane Austen waxwork on display at the Jane Austen Centre in Bath, England. (OWEN BENSON)

Jane Austen's beauty

Jane Austen did not look like a runway model. No Heidi Klum-ia n legs or Marilyn Monroe-esque bust adorned the author of Emma. No heavenly, Ingrid Bergman-ian visage.

According to a new wax figure unveiled this week at the Jane Austen Centre in the British city of Bath, Ms. Austen looked rather average. This is the closest "anyone has come to the real Jane Austen for 200 years," a Centre rep says, according to People. The wax effigy was created thanks to detailed studies conducted by FBI forensic artist Melissa Dring, who says she's not a big fan of the only other image of the author that has survived, an 1810 sketch made by Austen's sis Cassandra. "[It] does make it look like she's been sucking lemons," Dring tells the BBC. "She has a somewhat sour and dour expression. But we know from all accounts of her, she was very lively."


Gossip petits fours

The Maltese press has been atwitter this week over a report that Duchess Kate may make a solo trip in September for a 50th-anniversary bash to mark Malta's independence from Britain. The palace has yet to comment. . . . Donald Trump is in a tizzy over The View's decision to rehire Rosie O'Donnell as a cohost. "[It] tells you how desperate they must be," he tweeted Friday, calling the show's decision disastrous. . . . George Clooney's Ocean's Eleven costar Elliott Gould wants actual, physical proof that George finally will settle down with his most recent fiancée, Amal Alamuddin. "I want him to have some children already," Gould, 75, tells People. . . . Kesha says she spent two months in rehab this year, not for substance abuse but for treatment of bulimia. "I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself," she tells Elle UK. "I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny, was part of my job."