The sun didn't implode into a black hole.
Dawn came on Thursday. The birds sang.
But there also dawned a darkness, a sorrow in the core of our collective being, in the wake of Kristen Stewart's admission she'd cuckolded Robert Pattinson in a "momentary indiscretion" with her Snow White and the Huntsman helmer, Rupert Sanders.
Does K-Stew deserve our pity, love, sympathy? One mega-celeb feels she does.
"Geez this kirstew rob stuff is brutal," Lady Gaga tweets. "Makes me sad the way press acts. Hope they're ok." (We're OK, thanks. Not sure about the rest of the press.)
It's a different story when it comes to K-Stew's fans, enamored as they've been of the ingenue's fairy-tale love affair with vampiric, Brit-accented smoldering RoPatt, 26.
"I don't understand how she could do this!" one distraught fan named Emma Clark says in a passionate YouTube vid. "Why, why would you cheat on Robert Pattinson? . . . With Rupert. . . . I'm so not OK with this." Clark's outpouring, which is analyzed on no less a respected news outlet than CNN.com, pretty much sums up fan reaction. The global dialectic has ignited such Twit-activity as has not been seen since that satanic service was invented.
How do the men feel?
K-Stew's collaborator in indiscretion, Rupert, also has issued an apology, while her heretofore worshipful beau has remained mum. But if Anonymous Source is to be trusted, RoPatt feels "heartbroken and humiliated" over the affair, the New York Post says.
K-Stew's Ruperting: The wife responds
"Wow," tweeted Rupert's wife, Liberty Ross, when the K-Stew fiasco news broke. As well she might. She then deactivated her Twitter account. In May, Ross, who plays K-Stew's mum in Rupert's film, told Celebuzz.com, "I think there is no better Snow White in my opinion [than Kristen]. She is great." Ouch.
Seinfeld to return to stand-up comedy
In an age when stars are so pathetically desperate to stay in the limelight, Jerry Seinfeld has carefully rationed his SeinPresence. So be excited: JS says he's doing a series of stand-up shows in October and November in each of New York's five boroughs. "I was born in Brooklyn, went to school in Queens, and started out as a comedian in Manhattan," says Seinfeld, who hasn't been on the New York stage sinc e '98. "I feel like New York City taught me how to be funny."
Jackson matriarch is miffed
Jackson family matriarch Katherine Jackson, 82, has returned from a mysterious two-week absence she calls a "short vacation" in good shape. But she's awful sore about the continuing battle among her family.
"I am devastated that while I've been away my grandchildren have been taken away from me," KJ told ABC News hours after a court dethroned her as guardian of Michael Jackson's three children, Prince Michael, 15, Paris, 14, and Blanket, 10. Her grandson, TJ Jackson, was named temporary guardian.
The kids are in the middle of a war waged by MJ's siblings over his will, which stiffs them and gives his kids his entire $500 mil estate.
Was KJ kidnapped by her children while they hatched a dastardly plan to take her grandkids away, as gossipers have reported?
Those claims, KJ says, are "based on a bunch of lies. . . . There are rumors going around about me that I have been kidnapped," she says. "I am here today to let everybody know that I am good and fine." She adds that "my children would never do anything to me like that."
KJ says she was chillin' at a spa without a care in the world - or a cellphone. Oops.
When celebrities make love . . . or not
Finality and sadness at the Embry domicile: Brotherhood star Ethan Embry, 34, and his wife of seven years, model-actor Sunny Mabrey, 36, who split in April, are divorcing. Mabrey, who displayed exquisite hotness in sci-fi B pic Species III, has filed for divorce in L.A. County Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences.
Mario Lopez, 38, of celeb TV newsmag Extra, will wed fiancee Courtney Mazza, 28, at an undisclosed person's domicile in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on Dec. 1, Life & Style Weekly claims.
To pay for the honeymoon, M-Lo this week launched his designer men's undies line, Rated M, with a fabulous photo ad. It shows the fit dude nude - save for a pair of his mangiré (that's men's lingerie) in gold body paint.
Lena Headey, 38, who was goddess of war Diana in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and snake goddess Manasa in HBO's Game of Thrones, has filed for divorce from musician Peter Loughran after five years. She seeks joint legal and physical custody of the couple's 16-month-old son, Wylie Elliot Loughran.
Entertainment-industrial complex news
Quentin Tarantino's latest pic, Django Unchained, lauded as a masterpiece by some critics even before the project was announced, has completed principal photography after 126 (some say 130) days.
This article contains information from Inquirer wire services. Contact "SideShow" at firstname.lastname@example.org.