‘SideShow’: Duck, Philly! Here comes Justin!; ‘Jersey Shore’ goes down the shore

Justin Bieber hurt his head during a Paris concert Thursday, even lost consciousness for a bit, but not before, trouper that he is, he wrapped up the set. J-Bieb, 18, walked into a glass wall, sustaining what docs later called a concussion. He sang the closer, then passed out backstage, says he, for 15 secs. He tweeted later that you "gotta laugh at yourself sometimes." All this a day after girl riots in Oslo. TMZ relays unconfirmed reports of 49 young women hurt, unseriously, and 14 taken to hospitals during a free short Bieber set at the Oslo Opera House.

For those wishing to be injured in the Philly area, Go crazy, folks!!! Bieber performs at the Wells Fargo Center on Sunday, Nov. 4. Tickets go on sale today at noon. They're at www.ComcastTIX.com, 1-800-298-4200, or in person at the Wells Fargo Center box office.

For a sixth summer, the Jersey Shore menagerie will again convene in their Seaside Heights rental, thanks (?) to MTV. On Thursday, one by one, like reverse lemmings, they came. First was Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino in his Jeep. Five more terminal-vowellers followed: Deena Nicole Cortese, Vinny Guadagnino, Paul "Pauly D" DelVecchio, Samantha Giancola, and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. Later, Jenny "JWoww" Farley and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi arrived. This summer will be different. Snooki, pregs, won't even reside in the house itself, living nearby to avoid drunkenness and projectile vomiting. And isn't The Situation fresh outta rehab? So he won't be drinking. What're they gonna do? Read Schopenhauer together? Discuss subatomic particle physics? Surf? Crochet? Croquet?

Brooke Mueller, divorced from Charlie Sheen in May 2011 due to addiction (on both their parts), domestic abuse (on his toward her), and infidelity (whoever), is back in rehab for addiction to crack cocaine, a Source Close to Mueller says. On probation since an Aspen, Colo., drug arrest in December, she could face jail time. What happened? Mueller evidently partied with Chas for four days at his Beverly Hills launching pad. She even missed Mother's Day with the pair's 3-year-old twins, Bob and Max.

Someone save us. … The ever-hilarious David Hasselhoff, once cited by basketballer Dirk Nowitzki as a good singer, but famous around here for the long-ago show Baywatch, says he wants to star as Rhett Butler in a remake of Gone With the Wind. We'll wait until you stop laughing. You all right? Can we go on? Good, now you can start laughing again. When a nice lady from NextMovie asked who'd play Scarlett, Hasselhoff says: "Rachel Rice." The delicate interviewer asks whether that might be Oscar-winner Rachel Weisz. D-Hoff says: "Oh, yeah. Oof! I think she's hot." Oof!