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And the ultimate winner will be . . .

The Monday after Selection Sunday should be a national holiday. If you're doing any real work Monday you're either a sucker or a Communist or both.

Gonzo likes Pittsburgh to win this year's NCAA championship. (Keith Srakocic/AP Photo)
Gonzo likes Pittsburgh to win this year's NCAA championship. (Keith Srakocic/AP Photo)Read more

The Monday after Selection Sunday should be a national holiday. If you're doing any real work Monday you're either a sucker or a Communist or both.

When I was a senior writer at Boston magazine, I'd spend the entire day filling out brackets while watching for the boss. He didn't like basketball, and he went to Duke. We didn't get along for those reasons and lots of others. (He was a sucker and, I suspect, a Communist.)

Now I work for basketball-

and-freedom-loving Americans who tasked me to fill out a bracket and write a column about it. It's a great gig. There's just one problem with the assignment: The bosses wanted me to fill out only one sheet.

I've never understood people who only fill out one pool. It's like Scotch - if one glass is good, surely seven would be better. Maybe that's why the one-sheet people never seem to have as much fun as the multiple-sheet people.

But I'm a company man (sort of), and I do as I'm told (at times). So here's my lone bracket - I'll keep the other six to myself, I guess - along with some thoughts about various schools in the tournament. I didn't address every team because there's not enough space in this column and also, like Charles Barkley, I don't know anything about Wofford and can't be troubled to consult the Internet.

The contenders

Kansas: The Jayhawks do everything well (they're in the top 20 in the nation in points, rebounds, and assists per game). That has a lot to do with the Morris brothers, Marcus and Markieff. They're from Philly. Wonder why they didn't stick around and go to La Salle.

Pittsburgh: The Panthers rebound (eighth in the nation) and share the ball (fourth in assists). I love that kind of basketball come tournament time. I also like their local talent; two of their best players, Nasir Robinson and Brad Wanamaker, are from Chester and Philly, respectively. They didn't want to go to La Salle, either. Weird.

Ohio State: Of the five starters for the overall No. 1 seed, three are seniors and one is a junior. They have experience and, better still, Jared Sullinger.

Syracuse: The Orange have four players - Kris Joseph, Rick Jackson, Scoop Jardine, and Brandon Triche - who averaged double-digit points per game this season.

Kentucky: They're not deep, but they are talented. Terrence Jones and Brandon Knight alone are enough to take them deep into the tournament.

Duke: If you're a Duke fan or grad, I feel the same way about you as I do about the obnoxious brats who participate in Erin Express.

The pretenders

Notre Dame: The Irish can shoot (38th in the nation in field goal percentage, 16th in three-point percentage). But as a wise man, or Digger Phelps, once said, you don't live by the three, you only die by it. The sooner they get knocked out of the tournament, the better. I can't take any more gushing on-air stories by the broadcast teams about the corn-fed, all-American Hansbrough boys playing hoops in the driveway while drinking whole milk and whistling "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

North Carolina: They lost to Duke in the ACC championship, but I'm less concerned about the team than the coach. I think Roy Williams might be secretly tanning or applying bronzer. Either that or North Carolina is closer to the surface of the sun than the rest of the nation. His face is an unnatural shade that can only be described as "Snooki orange."

Florida: I have a hard time believing in a squad led by a guy named Chandler. This is scientific stuff. Joe Lunardi's methods are elementary by comparison.

San Diego State: The Mountain West is the Atlantic Ten with better weather. The only reason the Aztecs make the Sweet 16 is because of the easy opening-weekend draw.

Brigham Young: The Cougars are a one-man team. Granted, that one man is excellent, but until someone explains to me what a Jimmer is, I can't take them seriously.

Every A-10 team: Yeah, yeah, yeah - Xavier always plays well in the tournament. I know. I also know it's easy to pad your regular-season record when the conference includes St. Bonaventure, Fordham, and CHI Institute.

The sleeper(?)

St. John's: They can't really be a sleeper if everyone in the country is picking them to make a run, can they? (And, no, you weren't "on them all year," and you weren't the first person to tell your buddies about them, either.) I don't see the Johnnies as a legitimate title contender, but they're not pretenders, either. Which is why I put them in the sleeper category - because they don't fit anywhere else. It's that type of logic that will surely win one of the many pools I enter. Anyway, Steve Lavin has done an excellent job at St. John's. During his time at UCLA, the Bruins reached the Sweet 16 five out of seven years. I like the Red Storm to duplicate Lavin's old tournament success.

The locals

Villanova: No team has ever made the NCAA tournament after losing its last five games of the season . . . until now. Everyone is going to pick George Mason to win. I'm going the other way. Sometimes you have to zig when everyone else zags.

Temple: The Owls haven't won an NCAA tourney game since 2001. Fran Dunphy is too good to lose another one, especially to Penn State.

The champion

I'll take Pitt - in this pool. In the (many) other pools I enter I'll have a variety of different champions. That way I can tell people "I called it" even though I called a lot more losers than winners. Fraud and self-delusion make the NCAA tournament more enjoyable.