Baer: Of Trump, Obama, Toomey, Casey, and D.C.’s great sucking sound

President Trump walks toward Marine One to depart the White House en route to Langley Air Force Base on March 2, 2017 in Washington, D.C.

I figure something big is about to happen in our nation’s capital.

I’m thinking maybe White House press secretary Sean Spicer’s head will explode.

Or citizen Barack Obama will be subpoenaed by the House Select Committee to Investigate Crazy Crap the President Thinks Is True.

Or White House spin against everything and everyone not named Donald Trump will create a great whirlpool sucking the entire government into the Potomac, down the Chesapeake, and out to sea.

Signs are there.

We’re in a period of profound political psychosis where escalation is the only rule, where the back and forth’s a manic metronome.

Trump gives a sane-sounding speech to Congress. Can’t let that take hold. Better get more stuff out about Trump’s campaign and Russia, and let’s see smiley-faced Jeff Sessions try to explain it away.

And whether he does or not, let’s get a big-league investigation into how Russia helped Trump by leaking things about Hillary Clinton (that happens to be true).

Oh, wait. You want to investigate Trump’s campaign? OK, maybe you didn’t know Obama wiretapped Trump’s phones DURING the campaign. How about that? Obama must be a really “bad (or sick) guy!”

Unless, of course, Trump’s “bad (or sick)” referred to Richard Nixon, since right before the words "bad (or sick)" Trump’s tweet reads, “This is Nixon/Watergate.” So maybe Trump meant Obama is like Nixon during Watergate and, as you know, Nixon was a "bad (or sick)" guy.

I raise this only to demonstrate the level to which political discourse has descended; we need tweet-interpreters to follow it.

And what do our two senators think about the mess involving our president and the one who he says tapped his phones?

Well, Republican Pat (I-really-don’t-want-a-Philly-town-hall-meeting) Toomey says, in a statement I got from his office, “All information related to investigations and alleged wiretaps of the Trump campaign by the outgoing administration should be closely examined as part of the bipartisan Senate Intelligence Committee’s investigation into Russian actions during the 2016 election.”

Democrat Bob (I-really-don’t-want-to-be-vulnerable-in-2018) Casey says, in his own words passed along by his office, “When a public official makes a serious allegation, as President Trump did this [past] weekend, it’s put up or shut up in terms of the evidence.” Casey suggests “bizarre tweets from the president” show the need for “an independent commission and a special counsel to examine Russia’s meddling into our elections.” He adds, “This is a very troubling time for our nation.”

So either a “bipartisan” (run by Republicans) Senate committee investigation or an “independent” examination can clear the air and trim trouble?

One can hope.

But further escalation seems likely. Remember, as representatives of our uncivil politics, Trump called Obama “stupid” and “perhaps the worst president” in U.S. history; Obama called Trump a “know-nothing” who’s “unfit” to serve.

That set a nice template.

And while we wait for more leaks (still lots of Hillary emails out there), investigations and purges of suspected leakers within government, let’s sit back and enjoy more litigation over Trump’s new travel ban and endless fights over health-care law.

Meanwhile, North Korea’s launching ballistic missiles; millions fear losing health coverage; Trump’s agenda of reduced corporate tax rates, deregulation, and job creation – the very stuff that has so far driven the stock market to record levels – is in the hands of a Congress about to be bogged down by probes into allegations of Russian meddling and Obama wiretaps.

Politics first, people whenever. Maybe that’s why a Quinnipiac University poll released Tuesday shows Congress’ approval rating is 18 percent.

The good news? The White House just announced its public tours are back for the first time since Trump took office. Better hurry, though — before that great sucking sound.