Here's a switch: Chris Brown calls police because of woman

 C HRIS BROWN, who seems to have no trouble attracting women no matter how checkered his past, came home to L.A. Wednesday from a birthday weekend in Las Vegas (the weekends are longer there) and, according to TMZ.com and the New York Post, found "I LOVE YOU" spray-painted in his kitchen and a naked 21-year-old woman in his bed.

For the record, this has never been a gift Tattle has received.

Turns out, Brown hasn't either.

In fact, he called the police.

Brown then Instagrammed a photo of the woman, dressed only in a towel, saying she'd thrown out all of his daughter's and dog's belongings, placed "voodoo things" around his house, and spray-painted her name on his cars.

"I love my fans but this is some real real crazy s---!" he wrote. "I pray she will get help."

Police believe the woman had moved in a few days earlier - she hadn't even washed her dishes.

Stephen Colbert, who became wealthy by mocking elitist blowhards, is putting some of his money where his mouth is.

According to the Greenville News, he announced yesterday that he would fund every existing grant request that South Carolina public school teachers have made on the education crowdfunding website DonorsChoose.org.

Colbert partnered with the Morgridge Family Foundation's Share Fair Nation and ScanSource to fund nearly 1,000 projects at over 375 schools, totaling $800,000.

Colbert is a South Carolina native and a product of South Carolina's public schools.

"Enjoy your learning, South Carolina," Colbert said.

Grants will fund everything from new books to classroom supplies, school-branded clothing or professional development for teachers.

Or, as the anti-Colbert forces who contributed nothing might say, the money will be used to indoctrinate second-graders with lessons about atheism and socialism.

Since 2005, 13,000 South Carolina projects worth more than $5.6 million have been funded through DonorsChoose.org.

Chances are that most of the Deadheads who read this do not have coveted tickets to one of the reunited Grateful Dead's summertime concerts in Chicago and Santa Clara, Calif. (they're billed simply as "The Dead").

But hard-core local fans and casual listeners alike can get up-close and personal with at least one member of the storied rock band Saturday as Bill Kreutzmann, one of the group's two drummers, tomorrow presides over a program at the Stetson Middle School (1060 Wilmington Pike, West Chester).

Kreutzmann and his co-author, Benjy Eisen, will be there at 7 p.m. to promote Kreutzmann's just-published autobiography, Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs with the Grateful Dead.

"Me and Benjy came up with this idea about having a talk with our fans, speaking about the book," Kreutzmann told our Chuck Darrow. "We just ad-lib. And after we've talked and made fun of each other for a half-hour, we have a question-and-answer-type thing. And then I sign books.

"I didn't want to just sit there and sign books [something he will be doing Monday at the Rittenhouse Square Barnes & Noble] because I know the people like to have you talk to them a little bit. They want to ask questions, so we came up with this idea to do a little bit of a 'Saturday Night Live' sketch. We have a lot of fun with it."

To attend the event, you must purchase a book ($27.99) in advance at West Chester Book Company, Route 202 and Paoli Pike.

Be sure to read Chuck's interview with Kreutzmann in Monday's Daily News.

* Tomorrow and Sunday at booth No. 1318 at Wizard World Comic Con Philly (at the Convention Center, 1101 Arch St.), Terminator fans will have a chance to enter the T-1000 simulator to see if they're qualified to join the Human Resistance in their battle against Skynet.

It's part of the "Terminator Genisys 'Threat Has Evolved Experience' " brought to you by our friends at Paramount, with a little help from the Daily News.

"Terminator Genisys" opens here July 1.

* We couldn't get this tidbit into this year's Wizard World supplement, but if you'd rather celebrate your inner nerd at a bar with go-go dancers, the Trestle Inn (11th and Callowhill) is doing a Beam Me Up, Foxy! Boilermaker, a shot of Jim Beam and a can of Sly Fox Pils for $5 tonight and tomorrow from 5p.m. to 10 p.m.

A few of those and everyone will look super.

- Daily News wire services

contributed to this report.