DEAR HARRY: Am I wrong or did I just come to my senses? I became engaged this past Saturday. The next day, I was stunned by his parents "taking over" by telling me of their plans for us. They said that they wanted to help us to save for our future, so they will fix up the master bedroom of their house for us. It really hit me when they said that we will turn over our paychecks to them and they will give us an "allowance" for our personal needs. Any remainder would be invested for us. My boyfriend didn't say one word!
When I regained my composure, I left without a word. My boyfriend followed and tried to get me to understand that they were only trying to help. I am now caught between my love for him and my shock at his seeming acquiescence in their domineering position. He has previously shown some strange (to me) habits with money. Please help me!
WHAT HARRY SAYS: If you can't get him to turn them down on your first try, run - don't walk - away. Even if you can get him to change, recognize that you will be entering a marriage in which your husband's parents will not stop trying to dictate your life. That's no picnic.
Many years ago, the son of a friend had the mirror image of your situation. He did not marry the girl. Since then, she has had two divorces, primarily as a result of her mother's attempt to domineer the marriages.
Email Harry Gross at harrygrossDN@gmail.com, or
write to him at Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107. Harry urges all his readers to give blood. Contact the American Red Cross at 800-Red Cross.