Rome wasn't built in a day
As I sit here writing my Philly.com article this week, I feel somewhat like Carrie Bradshaw, although I don’t own a pair of Manolo Blahniks (I do have a ridiculous collection of shoes, though) and I’m not writing on a cute MacBook (PC for me). But, in the days of Sex and the City, online dating wasn’t yet discussed... it didn’t exist yet! I wonder what the ladies would have thought of NYC’s most eligible bachelors all being lined up side-by-side on Match.com or OKCupid. Something tells me they could have made a few more seasons.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the process of finding the love of your life. Many people go online or go to a speed dating event and expect to find their “one and only” simply by signing up or logging in. Just like you can’t lose weight simply by paying for a gym membership, you can’t meet the love of your life simply by paying for an online dating site. As much as we wish it could be, it’s not that easy and will take some good ol’ time. But don’t worry – all of the effort isn’t for naught.
I was on and off JDate for years, and I had many relationships through it, some better than others, of course. Throughout the process, you learn what you like and what you don’t like. For example, one short JDate relationship years ago taught me that even if a guy says he’s romantic (what I call and “empty adjective”), it doesn’t mean he necessarily is. (Unless you call romantic being in bed at 10:00 every night without even making an exception for a casual game of Scrabble – my favorite.) I was just so eager to be in a relationship at that time that I overlooked it for a while. And online dating also gave me my fair share of awkward, yet laughable experiences, like that time I went on a date with a guy, and as we sit down, he says to me, “So, I think we went on a date six years ago.” I didn’t like him the first time, and I certainly didn’t like him the second!
For the people I give “A Little Nudge” to, I don’t let them quit after one month of online dating. It’s not giving yourself a fair chance. Some people, believe it or not, are still warming up to the whole concept of online dating, even in 2014, so maybe they just need time to get acclimated to the scene and respond to you.
As Carrie once said, “People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.” Love is out there, but it just takes some time to find it. Might as well have fun with the process!
Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people navigate the world of online dating. Her services include: writing unique profiles to get you noticed, helping to choose your best profile pictures, writing one-of-a-kind emails to get someone’s attention, and planning dates. A Little Nudge has been featured in The Washington Post, NPR, Talk Philly, Good Day Philadelphia, JMag (JDate's online magazine), and Ask Men. Want to connect with Erika? Join her newsletter for updates and tips.