She's missing her grand opportunity

DEAR ABBY: My teenage daughter will be giving birth soon, and she has decided to place her baby for adoption. I have told her that whatever she decides, I will support her decision.

Here is the difficult part: This will still be my biological grandchild. When this beautiful child is lovingly handed over to the adoptive parents, I will be losing a grandchild. I am already in mourning.

Are there other grandparents out there who are going - or have gone - through this, and how are they coping? I already see a therapist, but I would still like to know how others are coping.

- Un-grandparent in Ohio

DEAR UN-GRANDPARENT: I wish you had told me more about the kind of adoption your daughter has chosen for her baby. If it is an open adoption in which she will be kept informed about the child's milestones and progress, ask the adoptive couple if they would welcome you as an "extra" grandparent for the child. If I hear from others who have gone through this process, I will let you know, because I'm sure they will write to help you through your heartache.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a low-paying job and I am trying to see that he gets a better one, but each step I take he regards as pestering him. This has driven us apart from each other. It really hurts me because we are now like strangers living together. What do I do?

- Sad wife in Abuja, Nigeria

DEAR SAD WIFE: Change tactics. What you consider helpful encouragement may be regarded by your husband as constant nagging about a sore subject. Tell him you love him and didn't mean to pressure him - and if you see some ads seeking men with his skills that offer a higher salary, let him know about them. That's what I would do.