DEAR ABBY: I am very concerned about my 33-year-old daughter's safety. A man in his mid-60s, someone she met at a previous job, has become obsessed with her. He has declared his love for her, divorced his wife and slathered my struggling, single daughter with gifts over the last three years.
She has refused his advances on nearly a daily basis, and he is now tracking her every move. If she leaves her house for even 30 minutes, he knows and accuses her of going to have sex with someone. If she says she's coming to my house, he drives by to verify it. If it takes her longer than he thinks it should, he accuses her of having sex with someone. She swears that she has never had sex with him.
It has really intensified lately. I'm frantic about her safety. What should I do?
- Scared Mom in Florida
DEAR SCARED MOM: Your daughter's "admirer" is showing all the signs of being a stalker. Why is she carrying on any conversations with him and telling him where she's going? If she accepted gifts he "slathered" on her, it may be why he feels she encouraged him. They should be returned.
You and your daughter should go to the police and report what he has been doing. It may be necessary for her to take out a restraining order because this person appears to be unbalanced and may be dangerous.
DEAR ABBY: Do you think people can change?
- Jill in Chester, Pa.
DEAR JILL: I assume you mean change for the better. The answer is yes, of course people can change. With motivation, determination and perseverance, people can accomplish almost anything they set their minds to.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.