DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Pressured," the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and she have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year.
My former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex and who initiated it.
Our marriage counselor believed he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and was probably a diagnosable narcissist. He divorced me.
"Pressured" says she has a good marriage, so I assume that means she has a caring husband. I would advise her to do her best to enthusiastically and creatively meet his needs. Most men express love and feel loved by having sex. Scorekeeping could be his ineffective attempt at communicating his need to feel loved.
- The Ex-Mrs.
DEAR EX: The saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" aptly applies to the responses I received. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Most guys may keep track of how often they're having sex, although more likely it's how long since the last time, or maybe how many times a week. But this guy is an idiot for letting his wife know that he's tracking it. We guys will take it any way, any how, anytime. For us, it's all good, all the time.
- Dan in Irving, Texas
DEAR ABBY: For most men, sex is just a little less important than breathing and eating as essential to our existence. Men have needs, and should have a right to share intimate relations with their wives. If not, we should be given the green light to fulfill our needs elsewhere.
- James in Kentucky
DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Pressured." I have been married 20 years and have five children. I figure my husband and I are intimate an average of 260 times a year. Needless to say, my husband greets me with a smile every day, and our marriage is rock solid.
- Knows the Secret in Utah