Monday, November 30, 2015

It's a scary world to bring kids into


DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married, 26-year-old female with just one problem: I'm afraid to have children.

I have always wanted children, and it's something my husband and I often discuss. Any time we are asked when we plan to start our family, we always say four to five years, but we have been saying this same thing for four years. I always thought I'd be ready by now.

My husband has been very sick for the past few years and had to take time off work. We were able to scrape by on my salary, but it was tough. He returned to work recently and is fine. But now all I can think about is how much children cost, and I'm afraid we'll never have enough money to have a baby.

I also worry about what if our child would be killed in an accident, molested or kidnapped! I ask myself why anyone would want to bring children into such a scary world, yet I still want them. Please help me. I am very upset and don't know what to do.

- Uncertain in Tulsa

DEAR UNCERTAIN: I understand your concerns and they are valid. Having children is an act of faith as well as an investment in the future.

If you think about it, life itself is a gamble. Mature individuals do everything they can to keep the odds in their favor. They work hard, live healthy lives, buy insurance, start an education fund for their children, etc. There are no guarantees - but people keep having children anyway.

Because you feel stuck in making this decision, it would be helpful to discuss your concerns with a licensed mental-health professional who can help you put your fears to rest.

More coverage
  • Are you 'challenging' friend's inconsistency - or judging?
    We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn't contribute to an engaging dialogue.
    Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines.

    Comment policy: comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the "Report Abuse" option.

    Please note that comments are monitored by staff. We reserve the right at all times to remove any information or materials that are unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable. Personal attacks, especially on other participants, are not permitted. We reserve the right to permanently block any user who violates these terms and conditions.

    Additionally comments that are long, have multiple paragraph breaks, include code, or include hyperlinks may not be posted.

    Read 0 comments
    comments powered by Disqus
    Latest Videos:
    Also on
    letter icon Newsletter