DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a lake house and invited a couple (close friends) to join us for a few days. The husband has cancer and we wanted them both to rest, as the wife is his only caregiver.
The second night they were there, the husband went to bed very early and the three of us were visiting. At one point, my friend went into the kitchen. When she didn't come out, I went to check on her and found her close to a diabetic coma.
It was very frightening. Fortunately, we knew what to do because my dad was diabetic, but we did not know where her medication was. My friend was making no sense and couldn't remember.
If you travel with someone you know has a medical condition, is it OK to ask where they keep meds in case of an emergency? How do you approach the subject?
- Caring Friend in California
DEAR CARING FRIEND: Of course it's OK. And a perfect way to lead up to that question would be to relate the story you have written to me.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, for the most part, is a happy-go-lucky, funny person during the day. But once we sit down to dinner, he starts making mean comments about me. Once dinner is over, he's back to being pleasant.
I have addressed this with him to no avail. I have suggested we eat dinner away from the table or separately. I have sought the counsel of a therapist.
I am at my wit's end. I'm a good person, a good wife and co-provider. I do not understand why he acts this way. Your thoughts?
- It's All Good, Until ...
DEAR IT'S ALL GOOD: When someone tells me, "It's all good" and then describes a marriage in which her husband beats her down emotionally once a day, I have to wonder what her definition of "good" is. For whatever reason, your husband appears to be trying to punish you. Was it his behavior that caused you to seek counseling or something else? I ask because I think the wrong spouse may have seen the therapist.