Never-faithful husband says he needs affairs

DEAR ABBY: I just found out that my husband of 30 years is having an affair. When I confronted him, he said: "I have a girlfriend. I can't imagine the rest of my life without girlfriends, so get over it!" Then he told me he has never been faithful, but that he loves me and would be devastated if I left. He considers his fooling around to be "safe and harmless escapades."

Abby, my heart is broken. He has flaunted this woman in my face, and embarrassed and humiliated me in public. Now he's angry with me because I told her husband what is going on.

How do I find the strength and courage to leave? My world is crashing down around my ears.

- Heartbroken in the South

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your husband's "escapades" are neither safe nor harmless to you. His behavior is callous, hurtful and disrespectful.

It's very important that you remain calm and do nothing in haste. You will be better able to weigh your options if you talk to an attorney and find out what you're entitled to after having been married to this man for 30 years. And if you feel it would be helpful, find a licensed counselor to talk to.


DEAR ABBY: I'm a new husband. I raised a daughter with another woman, and my current wife deleted every picture of her - from sonograms to her second birthday - and won't let me keep anything of hers.

I understand she wants our lives to be about us, but I try to keep it separate and the resentments are starting to fester. I'd confront her, but she's pregnant and has been extra emotional about me even leaving for work. What do I do?

- New Husband in Wyoming

DEAR NEW HUSBAND: I'm no doctor, but you and your wife need to consult one. She appears to be suffering from severe emotional problems. That she would have problems about you "even leaving for work" is not normal behavior, and you should waste no time in dealing with this.