DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of a beautiful 2-year-old daughter. I have always pictured myself as a mom of four little princesses. When I fantasized about having children, I imagined fairy tales, ballet, cheerleading, dress-up, tea parties - all girl things.
Now I'm expecting a little boy and I feel heartbroken. When I learned my first was a girl, I couldn't wait to meet her. I bought her everything pink and frilly. Here I am, eight weeks from my due date, and I have yet to buy this baby a single thing. When I look at baby boy items, I become severely depressed.
I'm no longer with the baby's father. He and his family are very excited about the baby, as he will be the only male grandchild for this generation. The truth is, the more I think about it, the more I am pulled in the direction of signing over my parental rights to my ex. At least he really wants him, whereas I don't.
I know this sounds terrible and selfish. I feel like a monster, but I can't help it. My dad says I shouldn't even allow my ex to visit our son in the hospital after he's born. No one will listen to how I feel. They keep saying my feelings will change after the baby is born, but I doubt it. I just need some guidance.
- Undeserving Title of Mommy
DEAR MOMMY: I don't think you are a monster. I do think you are not thinking objectively right now. Let me point out that life doesn't always go the way we fantasize. Just because you imagined that you'd be the mother of four little princesses doesn't guarantee that you will be.
I see no need to rush into signing any papers right now, regardless of how eager your boyfriend and his parents are about the baby. There will be time for that later, if you still want to. For now, ask your parents to help you select some baby boy outfits, and tell your doctor about all of your feelings because they may be hormonal.
You might benefit from some professional counseling right now - more than I can offer you - and I urge you to get it before doing anything you might later regret.