Still living with ex, who has very loud sex

DEAR ABBY: Because of finances, I still live with my ex-partner. We have been friends for 15 years. We split all the bills, and for the most part we get along quite well.

One thing has been bothering me, though. How should I handle things when he brings home a date? I am aware he becomes intimate, and occasionally it becomes quite loud. I have talked to him about this, and he says I should turn up the TV. I have asked him if he wants me to leave for the night to give him privacy. The answer is no, that it doesn't bother him if I stay, but it becomes uncomfortable for me.

How should I approach this in an adult manner? I love him dearly, but this is very awkward!

- Embarrassed

DEAR EMBARRASSED: It is laudable that you and your former partner are on such good terms. Out of consideration for you, why doesn't he plan to stay at his date's home or apartment whenever possible? If it isn't possible, ask him to let you know beforehand so you can make arrangements to be elsewhere for the night.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to tell your readers about a wonderful program I discovered about a year ago. It's called Overeaters Anonymous (OA). The program is similar to AA, but it's for people with an eating problem.

For years, I struggled to lose weight. I tried dozens of diets and pills and I saw doctors. I would lose some weight, but I could never stick with a program, so I gained back more than I lost. I felt like a loser.

Since joining OA, I have lost more than 50 pounds and feel like a new person. It's a daily struggle, but I have a sponsor and others to talk to when I'm tempted to return to my old life.

I hope this letter will help someone who is also struggling.

- Grateful O.A. Member in Illinois

DEAR GRATEFUL: There are OA chapters everywhere, but if you have trouble locating one, go to www.oa.org, or send a long, self-addressed stamped envelope to Overeaters Anonymous World Service, P.O. Box 44020, Rio Rancho, NM 87174-4020. The email address is info@oa.org.