Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Her husband's secrecy is tearing her apart

0 comments
She feels left out of the family when information isn´t shared with her. (iStock photo)
She feels left out of the family when information isn't shared with her. (iStock photo)

DEAR ABBY: My husband of five years has three children from previous marriages. Earlier this year he learned some disturbing information about his youngest child. He opted not to share the information with me so as not to violate her privacy. I found out about it a few weeks ago, and I am deeply hurt that I was excluded.

I feel I have never been included as a true part of the family, and this is just another example. He feels his explanation justifies his actions and that should be the end of it. I am concerned that he will keep other things from me that he feels are none of my business in the future. I am not at all comfortable with this situation. Do you think I am overreacting?

- Stepmonster in the South

DEAR STEPMONSTER: Yes, I do. Your husband decided not to discuss something with you that he felt would violate his daughter's privacy. Much as you might like to, you can't push your way into being accepted. If relationships are going to happen, they must evolve naturally. So calm down and stop personalizing this. It isn't a threat to your marriage unless you make it so.

More coverage
  • How to tell girl her dad's not interested in her?
  • Chauvinist pig club says 'no skirts allowed'
  • She got pregnant to spite ex she still loves
  •  

    DEAR ABBY: Last August, my husband and I allowed our son's 17-year-old girlfriend, "Lindsay," to move into our home from out of state because she needs to live here for a year to establish residency for school. She's a wonderful girl, mature, social and helpful.

    My problem is my other sons (ages 18 and 14) are very angry that we have allowed a "stranger" to move in. My son loves his girlfriend, and I want her to feel comfortable and welcome without alienating my other sons. Help!

    - Mom of Three Sons

    DEAR MOM: The decision about who should or should not be a guest in your home is not up to your boys, who appear to be suffering from a form of "sibling" rivalry.

    As a guest in your home, Lindsay should be treated with respect, and it's not happening. You should insist upon it, and if your wishes are not complied with, there should be consequences.

    0 comments
    We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn't contribute to an engaging dialogue.
    Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines.

    Comment policy:

    Philly.com comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the "Report Abuse" option.

    Please note that comments are monitored by Philly.com staff. We reserve the right at all times to remove any information or materials that are unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable. Personal attacks, especially on other participants, are not permitted. We reserve the right to permanently block any user who violates these terms and conditions.

    Additionally comments that are long, have multiple paragraph breaks, include code, or include hyperlinks may not be posted.

    Read 0 comments
     
    comments powered by Disqus
    Latest Videos:
    Also on Philly.com
    letter icon Newsletter