Sunday, September 21, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

His dead wife's photo is on girlfriend's bureau

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, "Clint," recently brought a large framed picture of his deceased wife into our home. He placed it on his dresser in front of framed photos of us together.

His wife died three years ago. We are living together in a condo Clint bought for me. He made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want to move me into "her house."

Clint also still wears his wedding ring. I told him I don't feel comfortable with her picture "looking at us." He doesn't think there should be a problem. Should I move on?

- In the Shadows

DEAR IN THE SHADOWS: That Clint still wears his wedding ring tells me he may not have accepted his wife's death. How sad for him.

Ask him to move his wife's picture to a room other than the bedroom. If he can't bring himself to do that - and join a grief support group - then you should consider moving on.

 

DEAR ABBY: Enough with the problems! I'm an active, friendly senior who lives alone, but I'm not lonely. I have many friends of all ages and a devoted family. Why? The saying, "If you want a friend, be a friend," is true. If we want friends, we can't sit back and wait for people to come to us. Smile, speak up, pay a sincere compliment. The majority of people will respond positively.

Join a religious group, community clubs and organizations. Volunteer to read at schools and libraries. Visit a senior group or center.

Many people of all ages fear they won't be accepted. But if they show up with a friendly attitude, they will be. When we reach out to others, most of the time those people reach back.

- Not Lonely in Woodstock, Ill.

DEAR NOT LONELY: It's easy to see why you have a wide circle of friends. Your positive energy leaps off the page.

If people want a warm welcome, they should keep in mind that the happier they are to see others, the happier others will be to see them.

Dear Abby
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