DEAR ABBY: In response to the letter from "Family First in Florida," it's no wonder her son and daughter-in-law want some peace and quiet when their new baby arrives. Grandma-to-be appears controlling and entitled. They are right to set kind, yet firm, boundaries with her.
I wanted privacy during and after childbirth, and I'm grateful my mom and MIL respected our wishes. I needed time to establish a nursing routine, heal and get to know my baby before I was ready to host overnight guests.
My kids' grandmas both have strong, loving relationships with their grandkids, so please remind "Family First" she's not missing out on anything. She'll still get to be a doting granny, but for now she should back off and remember that the arrival of the child is not about her.
- Experienced Mom in Omaha
DEAR MOM: That woman's letter hit a nerve with my readers. A sampling of their comments:
DEAR ABBY: If she doesn't respect her son's right to make that decision, she risks jeopardizing her future relationship with him, his wife and the grandkids.
The essence of a mother's love is sacrifice. It's time to put aside her dreams and help her son fulfill his.
- Suzie in Olympia, Wash.
DEAR ABBY: The new parents are greatly misinformed about the importance of having grandparents around. It helps to have a family member in the waiting room to update other family and well-wishers so Dad can devote full attention to the new mom and baby.
My mother was a godsend, taking care of everything while we bonded with our child. When our second child arrived, she helped with our older one.
Childbirth is difficult. I don't think this new mom realizes she won't be able to do it all.
- Shana in Louisiana
DEAR ABBY: That sad grandma needs to brush up on her Skype and FaceTime skills so she can see them frequently on her computer and phone. We do this with our kids. In the first year, the baby learned our voices and saw our faces often. When we met again, it was like we'd always been there.
- Computer Granny