They have plans, but should a baby be one?

D

EAR ABBY:

My husband and I are happily married and will celebrate 15 years of marriage next year. We have a 5-year-old daughter. Our dilemma is whether we should have another child.

I'm 38 and my husband is 40. We have become comfortable with the fact that our daughter is getting more independent. We plan on doing a lot of traveling, and I will change jobs after I complete school. If we have a second child, it would have to be within the next year, while I finish my classes and can be home to be with the baby.

We would like your opinion, and also to hear from parents who had only one child, as well as people who were raised without a sibling. - Maybe Only One in Georgia

DEAR MAYBE ONLY ONE: If you are considering enlarging your family only so your daughter will have a sibling, I don't recommend it. What the six-year age difference means is that your children will not grow up "together." By the time the younger one is starting high school, the older one will be in college and gone.

I can't - and shouldn't - decide this for you. I am throwing your question open to my readers and will share their opinions with you.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old son, "Leo," asked for an ear piercing when he was 13. I agreed on the condition that he would stop at one hole. When Leo was 15, he begged to have dreadlocks. I allowed it. He has since cut off the dreads, but now says he wants an eyebrow piercing.

My son is a loving, wonderful, happy kid. I couldn't honestly think of a good reason to say no, even though this piercing freaks me out.

My question is: What is a good reason to not agree to more piercings? Am I just too old-fashioned?

- Not-With-It in Maccabim, Israel

DEAR NOT-WITH-IT: Tell your son he was born with a perfect body. When you agreed to the ear piercing, it was on the condition that there would be only one piercing, and you expect him to keep his part of the bargain. If he asks for a further explanation, tell him it's because he has enough holes in his head.