Tuesday, November 24, 2015

At night, he wants to play, but not with her


DEAR ABBY: "Keith," works full-time in a factory. We live with his parents. By the time Keith gets home from work and cleaned up, it's time to eat dinner. Immediately afterward, we go in our bedroom and he goes on the computer to play video games, while I sit and watch TV and play on my phone.

We love each other, but this isn't fun for me. We're planning a vacation in the next month or so, so it's not like we do nothing at all. But I don't know how to improve our situation.

- Calling for Help in Kokomo, Ind.

DEAR CALLING FOR HELP: After a hard day's work, your husband may just want to sit down and relax. But that doesn't mean you couldn't schedule some activity together on a weekend. You could also make a date with other young married couples, or occasionally schedule a girls' night out with some of your female friends.

It's important for you and your husband not to get into a rut. That's why you need to budget so you can get out and have some fun together a few times a month.


DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I met "Holly," the love of my life. We married and had a child. Soon after our son's birth, I found out Holly had a boyfriend on the side. Our divorce was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because of her instability, I was granted custody of our son.

Since the divorce I have developed an attraction to men. Is this normal after a nasty divorce? I have been celibate now for almost four years. In the area where I live, having a gay relationship would cause me to lose my son. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated.

- Is This Normal? in Arizona

DEAR NORMAL: It is important that you determine exactly who you are, whether it is a walking-wounded heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. A licensed psychotherapist can help you with this, and do it in confidence.

Without risk there can be no reward, and celibacy is not the answer. If it turns out that you are gay, then you should consider relocating to a more gay-friendly area.

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