Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Sometimes she misses her abusive ex-husband

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DEAR ABBY: I was married to a man who ruled my every move. After years of torture and abuse, I finally became frightened enough to leave. Since then I have met a wonderful, caring, loving man who I wouldn't trade for the world. He treats me with kindness, respect and love. I am happier than I have ever been.

My question is: Sometimes I miss my emotionally and physically abusive ex. I have no desire to be with him, but after all those years, it's hard to adjust some days.

Is something wrong with me? Am I normal? What do I do? I don't have a girlfriend to confide in.

- Found My Soul Mate

DEAR FOUND: I'm touched that you would confide in me. Yes, you are normal. Time has a way of dulling emotional pain, and with time we tend to gloss over unpleasantness. Your ex may not have been brutal and controlling all the time, and you are remembering the happier times.

I don't think that what you are missing has much to do with him. What you may be missing is the adrenaline rush you got from the drama.

 

DEAR ABBY: I had an inappropriate relationship with a senior officer at the firm where I work. It ended a year ago. I was married at the time - I am now divorced - and he is married.

Occasionally during the past year, he has made advances, but I rejected them. However, today his advances were persistent and almost demanding. For the first time, I felt a little threatened.

I don't want to cause trouble for him, his job and certainly not his family. But what do I do? I'd like to think he has gotten the message, but what if it continues? I like the guy; I'm just not interested anymore.

- Don't Want Trouble

DEAR DON'T WANT TROUBLE: It appears that "Romeo" hasn't quite gotten the message, so it's time to make explicit your wishes in this matter. If he continues to persist, then you will have to report it to human resources.

 

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