DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing my girlfriend, "Stella," for a year and a half. When we met, Stella's divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.
I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed that she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.
Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn't gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I'm getting resentful.
It's not the money, but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent-free. She gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate?
- Don't Want to be a Sugar Daddy DEAR SUGAR DADDY: If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, "When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It's been a year, and you haven't even looked for a job." Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.
Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant's rights. You will probably have to evict her - so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.
DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.
Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do?
- At a Loss in Michigan
DEAR AT A LOSS: Continue being supportive and help Tina to maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is her responsibility, not yours. If she becomes frustrated or depressed that she isn't losing quickly enough, suggest that she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian about the reason why.