Isn't 14 old enough for her to be dating?

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl who's having a disagreement with my parents about dating. There's this guy, "Connor," who likes me, and I'm very comfortable with him. His older sister and I are good friends.

The trouble is, my parents have strict rules against dating and I think it's unfair. I think I'm mature enough to date, and I know right from wrong. My friends say I'm very mature for my age, and they approve of Connor because he's friendly and has an outgoing personality. I have tried talking to my parents about this, but I always end up in tears.

Can you tell me how I can convince them to give this guy a chance?

- Grown Up at 14

DEAR GROWN UP: A sure way to show your parents that you're mature enough to date would be to show them that you are a responsible person.

Do they know when they ask you a question that they'll get an honest answer with no evasion? Have you shown them that you respect their curfews? Do you do the chores that are expected of you without having to be reminded? Is the same true about your homework?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then do they know Connor? Do they know his parents? If they do, they might feel more comfortable about your seeing him, if it's in a group rather than one-on-one.

DEAR ABBY: What do new fathers hand out today instead of cigars?

- Nonsmoker in Savannah

DEAR NONSMOKER: Because so much more is now understood about the dangers of tobacco, many new fathers today hand out small gift bags of candy instead - blue for a baby boy or pink for a daughter.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.