Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Oops: Her boyfriend's ex is pregnant

Her new boyfriend is expecting a child with his ex.
Her new boyfriend is expecting a child with his ex.

DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to "Ricky" for about two months. I'm 28 and he is 27. A couple of weeks ago we decided to date exclusively.

This morning, Ricky found out that his ex is three months' pregnant with his child. I knew he was last intimate with her three months ago, but we were both kind of shocked.

I don't have kids and I prefer not to date men who do, let alone one who has a baby on the way. However, I do care about Ricky and could definitely see us together.

After this bombshell, I'm not sure what I want to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

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  • - Thrown for a Loop in Philadelphia

    DEAR THROWN FOR A LOOP: After this bombshell, the person who has some serious decisions to make is Ricky.

    Will this cause him to reunite with his ex-girlfriend?

    Is the baby really his child?

    If so, what will be his responsibility financially and morally?

    If he stays with you, do you want to help raise another woman's child?

    Until you have a better idea of what lies ahead, my advice is to do nothing. You have known Ricky for only two months, and while you could see a future for the two of you, can you also see one that includes the three - or four - of you?

    I'm including the ex in the equation, because she'll be a part of it. Forever.


    DEAR ABBY: I quit drinking three years ago. I realized I had a problem, addressed it and I'm now sober.

    I never was a big drinker socially. I drank alone.

    When I go out with friends for dinner, they usually rack up a large liquor bill, which is evenly split.

    Occasionally, I'll ask that the liquor portion of the bill be subtracted from my tab, but doing so makes me feel awkward.

    I enjoy going out with these people, but I don't want to add another 20 to 25 percent to my tab.

    What's your advice for addressing this situation?

    - Sober in the South

    DEAR SOBER: Congratulations on your sobriety.

    A way to avoid being charged for the liquor your friends consume would be to quietly advise the server at the start of the dinner that you would like a separate check.

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