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Stepfather abused her, but she can't hate him

DEAR ABBY: I was abused as a child through my teenage years. I told my mom and we talked about it.

DEAR ABBY: I was abused as a child through my teenage years.

I told my mom and we talked about it.

My stepfather was the molester.

Part of me is still angry about what he did to me, but another part thinks fondly of the life we had as kids.

What's wrong with me?

Is it normal to have conflicted emotions about a person who hurt you?

None of my siblings know about my past. My stepfather is deceased now and so is my mom.

- Survivor in Maryland

DEAR SURVIVOR: You deserve credit for not only being able to acknowledge your pain, but also emotionally mature enough to look back and not diminish the good things.

It's a sign that you are healthy.

Your feelings are normal, and you are to be congratulated for being able to view your history in its entirety.

DEAR ABBY: The women I work with are now starting to have grandchildren.

That's great, but when did it become trendy to have baby showers for the grandmothers?

Personally, I think this is over the top.

What about you?

- Shower Overload in Minnesota

DEAR SHOWER OVERLOAD: I don't agree. It may have become trendy around the time that so many grandmothers assumed responsibility for raising their grandchildren.

Or, the women may be so excited about welcoming a first grandchild that they want to celebrate with a party of their own.

Because you feel differently, simply decline the invitations.