DEAR ABBY: Can a sexless marriage last? My wife and I have been married for 17 years and our sex life has been slowing for a long time. We have sex less than 10 times a year.
We get along great and are the best of friends. My wife is attractive and fun to be with, and I don't know what happened to us. What causes women to lose their sex drive? (Then they wonder why their husbands have affairs.)
My wife is in good health. There are no medical issues. We are more friends than lovers. I don't think she's involved with anyone else. I want a fun, active sex life, but I don't want to upset her or lose the closeness we have. It's just that I'm watching our sex life evaporate. Please help.
- Mike in Missouri
DEAR MIKE: As women age, their hormone levels decrease, which can cause the sex drive to diminish. The reduced hormone levels can also make sex painful. If your wife would discuss these changes with her gynecologist or an endocrinologist, there may be a solution that would put some spark back in your marriage. However, that won't happen unless you are able to speak frankly with her about what's bothering you.
DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman on a predominantly male college campus. One morning, while walking to a class, I had the misfortune of walking a few feet ahead of a pair of boys who were having an incredibly offensive and loud conversation about their sexual interests. It was disgusting.
In a situation like this, would it have been inappropriate for me to turn around and say something, or was it better to just hold my tongue and walk faster?
- Offended in Georgia
DEAR OFFENDED: You were right not to challenge them. What you have described could be considered a form of sexual harassment. You should bring this to the attention of the dean because you are a minority on that campus and the boys apparently haven't learned to function in an integrated environment.