Dear Abby: Man's seldom-seen girlfriend fails to measure up for mom

DEAR ABBY:

My son, "James," is 25 and has been dating his girlfriend for three years. He has brought her over only five times.

This is his first girlfriend, and I think he is getting way too serious and thinking about marriage. While she seems nice, I do not think she's the right girl for my son to marry. James has not talked to me about marrying her just yet, but I think he knows I'm not a fan.

My question is, do I talk to my son about how I feel, or just bite my tongue and let him make his own decision, even though I think he'd be making a big mistake?

James isn't the easiest person to talk to, especially when you don't agree with him. I'd hate to see him marry her and wind up divorced, knowing I might have been able to stop it.

- Mother Knows Best in New York

DEAR M.K.B.: At 25 years old, your son is an adult. A three-year relationship is not a whirlwind courtship. James and his girlfriend may already have an inkling about how you feel about her - which is why you have seen them only five times in three years.

If you want any relationship at all with your son in the future, do not interfere. Let him work this out for himself. He may be your son, but he's no longer a child, so don't treat him like one.

DEAR ABBY: My wife thinks it's improper for my parents to include their grandson - our 8-year-old son - in their Christmas card photo. He's their only grandchild.

I have seen people include pictures of their pets, cars, boats and all sorts of other things in their photo cards. So why not grandchildren? My parents have pointed out that this is the only opportunity for their friends to see their grandchild, but my wife thinks he should be included only in OUR Christmas card. What do you think?

- Pulled in Two Directions

DEAR PULLED: I think your wife is selfish, judgmental, and should be ashamed of herself for wanting to deprive your parents in this way.

Now I have a question for you: What's her problem? It's obvious that she has one where your folks are concerned.