Dear Abby: She resents being a repeat crash pad

DEAR ABBY:

A younger brother died of cancer four years ago. Recently his wife, "Kaye," has been coming to stay with my husband and me for a week or two at a time.

The reason for the frequent visits is she has a boyfriend here in Arizona. (She lives in California.)

Kaye tells me she "misses me" and uses that as an excuse for her visits, but I know she's doing it for the free lodging. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she isn't getting the hint.

My husband is retired and doesn't want Kaye in our home this often. She has visited for three weeks over the past two months and wants to come back again.

I think her boyfriend should pay for her lodging. Then she can come, see us, and spend as much time as she wants with him.

How can I help Kaye see the big picture?

- Sore Sister-in-Law in Phoenix

DEAR "SIS": Your hints haven't been strong enough. Tell Kaye that the time she wants to come "isn't convenient" and suggest she make arrangements for other accommodations such as hotel or motel.

If she says she can't afford it, suggest that her boyfriend "chip in" - or better yet, visit her in California.