Dear Abby: Swimmer who 'loses' trunks must learn to cool his jets

DEAR ABBY: After a messy divorce, I moved with my 17-year-old daughter "Allie" to Florida. Allie now has a boyfriend, "Shane," who is 19 and in college. I like him, and it appears he likes me, too - maybe a little too much.

Shane lives with his parents down the street, and he's often at our house when he and Allie aren't in school. Because I work at home and my office is adjacent to the pool, I can't seem to escape him. The other day, after jumping in the pool, he surfaced without his swim trunks and said the pool jets had ripped them off him. Then he got out of the pool and put them back on in front of me. When I told him I found the situation embarrassing, he shrugged and smiled, leaving me feeling awkward.

Should I listen to my instincts that something is not right? And what do I say to Shane that will allow me to keep my dignity?

- Taken Aback in Tampa

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: The pool jets didn't rip the trunks off the boy. It appears your daughter is involved with an exhibitionist. If it happens again, tell him you find it to be disrespectful and offensive, and if he wants to parade his shortcomings at his own home that's his privilege, but at yours his pants should stay on at all times - or you'll tell his mother.